Angry Black White Boy Script
See the link in comment. Read the Adam Mansbach pp. 92-101. The play is at Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia Street (betw. 15th/16th) Thursdays-Sundays, 8 p.m. through Sunday, Nov. 16. I am hosting a theatre party Nov. 16, 8 p.m. if you are interested I need your ticket money by Nov. 13, so I can purchase tickets in advance. For information visit www.theintersection.org or call (415) 626-3311. Thursday performances are pay-what-you-can. Reservations are required.
See the link in comment. Read the Adam Mansbach pp. 92-101. The play is at Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia Street (betw. 15th/16th) Thursdays-Sundays, 8 p.m. through Sunday, Nov. 16. I am hosting a theatre party Nov. 16, 8 p.m. if you are interested I need your ticket money by Nov. 13, so I can purchase tickets in advance. For information visit www.theintersection.org or call (415) 626-3311. Thursday performances are pay-what-you-can. Reservations are required.
posted by Professor Wanda's Posse at 11:56 AM
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ANGRY BLACK WHITE BOY
By Dan Wolf from the novel by Adam Mansbach
Act One
TRADER
Chairs, microphones, loop machine, mpc, keyboard, cdj.
A white man, MACON, stands, at the turntables.
A black man- NIQUE /Jihad/Fleet/Professor- enters creating sounds and music underneath and over Macon's story - the soundtrack Macon plays for himself inside his head.
Another black man- ANDRE/Lajuan/ Omari- enters next to Macon.
Another white man- GUY/Red/ Officer/ Reporters- enter standing alone in the center- the unseen battle inside Macon’s head, the one he moves with but doesn’t see.
MACON
What the hell?
ALL
What the hell?
MACON
I mean how does a white Jewish kid from the suburbs end up robbing white passengers in his taxi cab?
Angry Black White Boy.
ALL (vocal rhythmic build):
What the hell?
GUY Angry
ANDRE Struggling
NIQUE Black
MACON Running
GUY White
ANDRE Nigga
MACON Boy
NIQUE Cracker
MACON Evil
N/G/A What the hell
MACON Down
N/G/A What the hell
MACON Angry
ANDRE You stupid
NIQUE Black
GUY Sorry
MACON White
ANDRE Sorry
MACON Boy
NIQUE/GUY Dam you stupid
GUY/MACON white white
NIQUE/ANDRE black black
GUY/MACON white white
NIQUE/ANDRE Black is black
“Black is Black” Jungle Brothers and then the three others led by “Nique” create the song
and then live mix to “Public Enemy #1” to “Can’t Keep Running Away” to
“Amerikkka’s Most Wanted”
Macon takes his headphones on. Sound: “Flavor of the Month”
After the song is established:
GUY moves his body in a pop lock ballet as he shadows MACON’S text.
MACON
I was a fourteen-year-old whiteboy in a Malcolm X T-shirt, alone at the first annual Boston Hip Hop Conference, heart fluttering with intimidation and delight as scowling baldheaded old schoolers pointed at my chest—
OG/Nique
Whatchu know about that man?
MACON
“Elijah Muhammad's old Caucasian creation myth” –
OG
--And white folks were called devils.
MACON
But are all white people devils? Can there be exceptions? What about that dude Paul C., who'd engineered Eric B & Rakim's album? Who but white folks, my folks, have been so brutal for so long?
To answer that question—
Sounds of New York City - honking cars, screeching tires, people moving and talking - is created live on stage by the men. They move, popping and locking, in and out on the grid that envelopes MACON.
This is how it starts. It’s a little past rush hour now and I – New York City’s newest cabbie -swing my yellow cab downtown and flip on my radio and relax as the voice of Kool DJ Red Alert introduces an old school set on Hot 97 FM, the station whose tagline
FROM CAB STEREO
“where hip hop lives”
MACON
has inspired the underground MC to declare himself dead.
JIHAD/ Nique creates the beats to "Paid in Full"
FROM CAB STEREO
“I useta roll up/this is a hold up, ain't nothin' funny/stop smilin'/don't nobody move but the money”
MACON
Rakim Allah intones, smooth with the roughness, reflecting on the tax-free paper clocked before he
MACON & RAKIM
“learned to earn/cause I'm Righteous”
MACON
I know the rules, as much as any white boy can, first from listening to the lyrics and then from living at Lajuan’s crib where black men who called themselves Gods sat around all day with quarter-masted eyelids from smoking blunts. I learned the most from Jihad- a Newport smoking monologue spitting herbologist with matching Nikes for every rugby shirt he owed and a penchant for talking God Body Science from one mouth corner:
JIHAD
I'm sayin', God, that nigga ODB the God, God. If that nigga Old Dirty Bastard was President black people wouldn't have no more problems... no more Tawanas, no more Jones Beaches, no more...other shit...
MACON
And hustle ego watch-me as unfiltered as New York tap water out the other:
JIHAD
"I drop science like girl's be droppin' babies...make a nigga go crazy!/ energy buildin' takin' all types of medicines--"
MACON
Everything was too much in that crib. The drinks too strong, the weed too harsh, the conversation too aggressive.
JIHAD
Do the knowledge: boom it’s like magnetic attraction. The gravitation doesn’t work unless the shit is mutual, so ‘love is blind’ is Now Cipher, God. It's like how some cats say that niggas can't be racist, you know, you know the science on that, you can't be racist unless you have the power to be racist, so boom, you can't say you in love unless you both in love; one person in love is like the sound of one hand clapping, God.
MACON
The apartment was a sitcom of jokes, pointless battle of rhetoric and flow skills and rhymes and rhymes and beats to the rhymes:
JIHAD/Nique and LAJUAN/Andre Freestyle, MACON joins.
MACON
and the every-occasion, rain sleet or pestilence query –
JIHAD
who's going to the weedspot?
MACON
who's going to the weedspot?
JIHAD
You going to the weedspot!
MACON
I mean, damn- every time I got to go!
LAJUAN
I got you – this time.
LAJUAN steps out, sound shifts to city sounds, taking MACON into the city that surrounds him until
MACON
A hand shoots up on the west side of Wall Street, and I swerve to the duke's side.
GUY in his early thirties clambers into the backseat, talking on his cell phone.
GUY
Eighty-fifth and Fifth. I’m fucking late, the reservation was for six.
MACON
Mr. Eighty-fifth and Fifth, who is this guy? Who is he- I know!-he has the same rock-solid Roman nose as a guy, a frat-boy type, I knew in high school.
Sound: “Egg Man”
ROMAN NOSE/Guy and MACON size each other up.
ROMAN NOSE/Guy
You think you're pretty cool, huh Macon dude? Sitting at the black table, kickin' it like you're Vanilla Ice or something? People laugh at you, dude. I don't even know you, and I sit there and laugh my ass off.
MACON
Are we finished?
Guy grabs me and slams me up against a locker, mad corny, like we’re characters in a John Hughes movie.
OMARI/Andre, saunters into view, GUY sees OMARI, backs up away from MACON
ROMAN NOSE/Guy
Hey Omari , dude, what’s up.
OMARI/ Andre
Wassup Macon. (to GUY) See you at practice.
As soon as OMARI rounds the corner:
ROMAN NOSE/Guy
You better watch your attitude, bro. I don't care how tight you are with the niggers. I'll kick your fuckin ass.
GUY tries to make MACON flinch once, twice and then grabs his cell phone and bangs it against his leg- jerking us back into the present.
I can't get a signal on this piece of shit. (GUY knocks on the cab partition) Hey, turn that down, will you? I gotta hear enough of this as it is, two in the morning last night, these guys in their SUVs are rattling my windows three floors up. What I want to know is how they can afford forty thousand dollar cars with custom stereos. We're in the wrong business, bro. First thing tomorrow, I'm gonna go get an Adidas sweat suit and find myself a nice street corner. Sell a little crack and buy myself a Lexus. (into phone) Hello? I know I’m late, I’m in a cab and we’re just getting on the FDR. Ten minutes. So who's this chick tonight, Kim's friend? Kaliyah, Kalikah, something like that--she hot? Black? Nice!
MACON
I jerk the wheel the cab cuts across two lanes and onto the shoulder of the road as I slam on the brakes. The guy careens forward, whacks his head on the plastic partition, and falls back into his seat.
GUY moves his body in a pop lock ballet as he physically illuminates the taxi as it skids off the road.
GUY
What the hell? What are you, some kind of maniac?
MACON locks the door, opens the glove compartment, and spins around with a gun in his hand.
MACON
Shut up! Gimme your phone.
GUY gives MACON the phone and he turns it off.
Take out your wallet and gimme your necktie. Hurry. Look up and I'll shoot you in the face.
GUY
Okay, just don't hurt me.
GUY pop locks taking out his wallet and throws it on the seat, along with his tie and watch.
MACON
I didn't ask for your watch, throw it out.
GUY
But –
MACON
Throw it out!
GUY throws the watch out.
Alright. Now. Where were we going? Eighty-fifth and Fifth, was it?
GUY
I-I can get out right here. Please?
MACON
You sure, homeboy? I wouldn't want Kim and Kaliyah, Kalikah - you know her black friend - to think you'd stood them up.
GUY
Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me? Why me?
MACON
Because you're a typical ignorant white devil asshole and you and everybody like you deserves to be robbed every day of your life, somebody has to pay. Now get out of here. If I see you even halfway looking at my plates I'll back up and run your stupid ass over. Move.
GUY gets out of the cab, onto the shoulder of the highway.
I bet you this is the first time you ever regretted the color of your skin.
I’m looking at my face in the reflection of the rearview mirror moments after leaving the still sweating scene of the crime. The big question, I guess, is how I got here, on this vibe. It would be nice if there were some simple answer, some creation myth -- but there's not. My parents are standard-issue white liberals, just as puzzled as anybody. As far as I'm concerned the question is not how I got this way, but how the rest of y'all didn't. Cuz you did not. It’s like you’re not chained to the same history that I am. I mean how does a white Jewish kid from the suburbs end up robbing white passengers in the name of black people in his taxi cab anyway? What the hell?! Believe it or not I came here to go to college –to go to Columbia –and to meet him:
MACON grabs a book as ANDRE WALKER enters wearing a Lakers jersey and Raiders track pants. MACON sees ANDRE as he puts on an old baseball cap.
Sound: “California Love”
ANDRE
Andre Walker, West Coast’s finest, representing Cali to the fullest in New York City.
MACON
Andre Walker. Great grand son of Moses ‘Fleet’ Walker, baseball’s first black major leaguer.
MACON opens the book and reads as FLEET appears.
FLEET
I’m the only player to take advantage of the grandfather clause written into the league’s new rule.
RED/ Guy
‘Negroes under contract can serve out the remainder of this- their final- seasons with their teams.’
FLEET
Every other colored player is gone. They walked out of pride. Out of pride, I stayed. Nobody is gonna run me out of my chosen profession one second earlier than law allows.
RED
The man most responsible for the new rule—
FLEET
Or at least the man claiming the most credit is Anson.
CAP/Macon
Cap. Cap Anson. This is my fucking history. I am the great grandson of the racist cracker baseball god Cap Anson. Me- Macon Detornay and Cap Anson.
FLEET
Chicago’s first baseman and manager, the greatest hitter the game has ever known. Anson has done more for the games popularity than any man, and when he talks people listen.
CAP/Macon (reading from the book)
Why are the coloreds allowed to play with white men and dirty up the Great American Pastime? Does the league want to risk a colored player loosing his temper, as the race is notorious for doing, and in a fit of rage turn on a white opponent with a bat? --This cracker is worried about black rage?!- he should have seen what his white great grand kid did--Integrated play is a disaster waiting to happen. Baseball is a game of dignity and poise. A white man’s game.
FLEET
Thus on April 29, 1889 I am not the only colored man in a uniform, but in the entirety of Atlanta, Georgia’s Robert E Lee Stadium. Out in the decaying bleachers is a section for coloreds only, but it stays empty as the stadium fills up. I wonder what they think of me for staying. I ain’t out to be a hero but it occurs to me that folks might think I’m selling out by staying where I ain’t wanted.
FLEET and RED DONNER take to the outfield to warm up. They toss the ball back and forth. FLEET throws back to RED, but the ball sails over RED’S outstretched glove.
Say, Red, what’s the matter? You lose it in the sun?
RED/ GUY
Behind you! You see that?
FLEET
Klansmen.
RED
Must be about 50 of ‘em, costumed and everything.
FLEET
A cheer like rifle fire rises up and I realize it’s coming from the exact place I am gonna stand, with my back to the enemy, engaged in what suddenly seems like an impossibly foolish, infantile game and an undertaking as serious as anything in life could ever be.
RED
I talked to one of them. He said they’re not here to cause any trouble. Just here to celebrate the purification of baseball. Maybe you ought to take the day off.
FLEET
I’m the third baseman. I’m playing. When I step to the plate every voice comes to life. Without meaning to I turn and look at the Klan delegation behind third. I dig in and cock my bat, dying to swing through the sea of hate. The wind up, the pitch. A body blow that stings my thigh. I knew they were gon’ try to kill me.
MACON
Fuck. The crowd roars.
FLEET
I jog to first where Cap Anson is waiting.
ANSON
Tell ‘em to take you out ‘fore things get ugly.
FLEET
I take a big lead, as much to get away from Anson as to get a jump on the pitch.
ANSON
You best quit while you still can, boy.
FLEET
Sometimes a man just has to run.
Sound: “Can’t Keep Running Away”
ANDRE and MACON square off as FLEET fades into the past.
MACON
So this is his great grandson Andre Walker, shorter and lighter… And here goes the introduction of great grandson to great grandson: Hey, wassup, I’m Macon Detornay. Been wondering when you’d touch down. Welcome to the crib.
ANDRE
Andre Walker. How long you been here?
MACON
I came down for the pre-orientation camping thing. But when I got here, I realized I’d rather just have a week by myself in the city to get settled, find a job, shit like that. So I skipped it.
ANDRE
Yeah, me, too. I didn’t come to Columbia to learn how to wipe my ass with leaves.
MACON
I chuckle - cover the whirring of my brain, a moment I been fretting over all summer, afraid that when faced with Andre Walker I’d chicken out and not say what I promised myself I would. Apologize somehow. But now at this critical juncture--
There’s something you deserve to know. So here it is. First of all I requested you as a roommate. And second, Cap Anson was my great-grandfather.
ANDRE
Okaaaay. Wow. What am I supposed to do with that?
MACON
I, uh, well, I…
ANDRE
Why can’t I just do college like a normal kid, say ‘What’s up dude’ to my boring roommate and buy some boring books and drink some beer and met some girls and shit?
MACON
Honestly man? I don’t know. I found you on the Net after I read Fleet’s book, and you were coming here and so was I and it just seemed cosmically, I don’t know . . . right for us to room together, so I called the housing office. The sins of the fathers and everything.
ANDRE
The sins of the father what dude? Shall be forgiven if the great-grand sons share a dorm room?
MACON
Not forgiven. I don’t know man. Something to make Cap spin in his grave, I guess.
ANDRE
He’s not the only one.
In my mind’s eye I see Fleet’s caramel face turn to pale grey clay, crumple and crack. The headless body stands at home plate, arms swaying from shoulders.
I wonder what it was like growing up knowing a man like Anson was your ancestor. I wonder what it was like growing up knowing a man like Anson was your ancestor. Did your parents have “a somber sit down” with you and shit?
MACON
I’m sorry, I mean not about Cap and Fleet – I’m not apologizing for that – I mean I am sorry about that but I’m apologizing for this. I guess the idea of living with some one I have some connection to is more appealing than life with a total stranger.
ANDRE
We are total strangers, Macon.
MACON
Yeah, but we got history.
ANDRE
So what? Are you anything like Anson? Do you hate black people? Can you even hit a curveball?
MACON
I’m nothing like him, that’s kinda the point of my life.
ANDRE
Well, man, Fleet really has no bearing on my life. I haven’t even read his book.
MACON
For real? Why not? You can borrow mine.
ANDRE
Chill. Ever since that joint came back in print, my mom’s been on it non-stop. “Andre, why you watching that crap on TV? Go read your great-grandfather’s book. Andre stop running up my phone bill and go learn your goddamn history.” I’m getting pretty tired of that dude, to be honest.
MACON
It’s a dope book man. Makes you realize how little anything has changed in this country.
ANDRE
Is that right? … Damn – I mean a nigga spends twelve years in Santa Monica’s most elite prep schools, as one of only three black students-- and now this?… Two grown men and they expect us to live in two hundred and sixty square feet all year. I measured.
MACON
Two-seventy if you count that little ass closet. Not that I brought much. I took the bus down.
ANDRE
No big send off from the fam?
MACON
My parents are on a two month European cruise. I haven’t lived at home in more than a year though. I took some time off before this and moved in with my boy Lajuan.
ANDRE
You’re from where?
Sound: “I Got To Have It”
MACON
Ten minutes outside Boston. Suburb called Newton. But don’t worry we’re not gonna have any Bird-Magic, Bad Boy-Death Row coastal beef. Boston sucks! Nice hometown pride though.
ANDRE (tugs at his LA jersery)
I have no idea what you mean.
MACON
Come on now. You’re talking to the only kid from the Bean who was up on LA hip hop before Straight Outta Compton. I used to get KDAY tapes from my man’s cousin.
ANDRE
Word? KDAY huh? That’s some OG shit.
MACON
Man I was out here talking about Mixmaster Spade and ‘can’t get enough of everlasting bass’ and cats were looking at me like I was stone crazy.
They smile which induces a moment of silence. Sound up “Everlasting Bass” keyboard line
ANDRE
You may still be a lunatic and your blood lines are certainly polluted but at least you’re hip hop enough not to view black people as an alien species – even if you’re the type to assume that any black kid you meet is a rap head.
MACON
Okay. Enough with all this trivial cosmic-connection shit. You blaze or what?
ANDRE
Hell yes, and not that dirt weed fools be smoking out here neither. Strictly the California chronic. Check this!
ANDRE pulls out a sandwich bag from inside his socks, wipes it clean.
MACON
Cali in the house.
ANDRE
Hydroponic. Act like you know.
Sound: “Chronic Intro”
MACON cracks the bag and takes a deep breath.
Wait till you taste it, dude.
ANDRE pulls out a joint and they smoke.
Sound: “I Got Five On It”
MACON
This ain’t even the same plant I used to call marijuana.
ANDRE
Damn dude, getting doe-eyed over ganja is for hippies with black light posters who read fan ratings of Grateful Dead shows on the internet.
MACON
I would kick it with those fools, occasionally, in high school. They had the best bud tho’, with bongs they gave the goofiest names to. “Careful with Oscar dude, that bud sneaks up on you” Hip hop heads smoke weed like we do everything: making something outta nothing, repurposing something cheap, useless and available to suit our needs. “Yo kid lets burn this branch / twist this L/ hit this blunt /
ANDRE
blaze these trees / steam this broccoli / smoke this shit.
MACON
We split a fifty-cent Dutch Master cigar, slide that stale cheap tobacco to the pavement, dump the brown-green stick-seed-and-shake-laced nick bag casually into the empty paper, pick out the unsmokables-
ANDRE
twirl it up, dry it, light it, hit it, ash it, pass it, and go about our business as if we have some. Build and destroy.
MACON
But this knocks even Deadhead herb straight out the box. Makes me look at the City of Angels in a whole new light.
ANDRE
Kinda name is Macon for a whiteboy, anyway?
MACON
Kinda whiteboy is Macon’d be a better question.
ANDRE
You stupid.
MACON
Macon, Georgia. Where I was allegedly conceived. Parents drove cross-country in a VW bus for their honeymoon. I hate it.
ANDRE
It’s not so bad. If they’d gotten it on a couple hours earlier, you woulda been Buckhead.
MACON
Easy for you to say. No one called you Bacon in grade school.
ANDRE
True. Between all those seventies Black Power Back-to-Africa names –and all that ghetto-fabulous eighties insanity, naming kids Lexus and Guccina and Dom Perignon and shit – black folks got kind of a moratorium on names.
ANDRE turns away, ashes the joint, changes shirts.
MACON
YES! I’m as attuned to signs of black acceptance as a dog is to the scraping of a can opener. Willingness to tweak the foibles of black people in front of me is a clear one, it implies that I’m hip enough to get the joke and down enough to be unguarded around. The only thing better is when black folks start railing against the White Man in my presence.
ANDRE
Yo, it’s time to be out. I’m supposed to meet my man Nique downtown. You wanna roll?
MACON
Sure. Who’s Nique?
ANDRE
My Cuz from Cali. Completely nuts. You’ll like him.
ANDRE finishes changing and goes to exit the dorm room. He pauses.
Listen. Don’t mention this Cap Anson shit to anybody else, especially not Nique. It’s fucking weird dude.
I hope you don’t need me to tell you that. Plus I don’t want to be known as the guy who’s rooming with his – his whatever.
MACON
Fair enough.
They exit the room.
ANDRE
So what kind of job did you find?
MACON
I drive a cab.
ANDRE
Real? You must hear some interesting shit. People probably assume you don’t speak English.
MACON
You’d think so, but so far it’s been pretty boring. Lot of single fares.
ANDRE
You didn’t want to wait and get a campus job?
MACON
I’m not work-study eligible. My grandfather put away dough for my education back in the day, so no student loans. I’m still broke on the day-to-day tip though.
ANDRE
Parents don’t help you out?
MACON
I won’t let them.
ANDRE
Okaaay. If you say so.
NIQUE appears.
NIQUE
Ooo LA- Cali-for-ni-a! Wassup fool!
ANDRE
You know.
They embrace.
This my roommate. Macon… (beat) He’s cool.
NIQUE
Whattup, dude. Dominique Lavar. Come on in, then. Peep Dre. Still got the picture. Never forget, nigga. Never.
ANDRE
How could I? The blurry black-and-white freeze frame of LA’s finest swinging billy clubs at Rodney King.
MACON
Nice picture.
NIQUE
Nice? Either you got a real limited vocabulary or a serious problem. Ain’t nothing nice about that shit.
MACON
No, I mean of course not. I – what I meant was . . .
NIQUE
What? Dre, who is this fool?
Without saying a word MACON lift his shirt sleeve to reveal his forearm which is tattooed with the characters “04-29-92”. NIQUE and ANDRE peer at it, then look at each other.
ANDRE
A Jewish kid with numbers tattooed on his arm. Now, I’ve seen it all.
MACON
That’s exactly what my mom said: ‘Now, I’ve seen it all.’ She started going off about the Holocaust, I was like ‘Please. Nobody in this family has been inside a temple in three generations. How am I supposed to be Jewish enough to know better?’
ANDRE
I’m not Jewish and I know better.
NIQUE looks from ANDRE to MACON and then back to ANDRE.
NIQUE
Who is this dude, Dre? Dude got a Rodney King tattoo? Shit I thought I was black.
MACON
April 29, 1992.
NIQUE
The LA Uprisings.
MACON
It was an important day.
NIQUE
For niggas in LA, no doubt. But you gonna have to enlighten me as to why it was so crucial for a whiteboy from . . .
MACON
Massachusetts.
NIQUE
Right.
MACON
Things changed.
NIQUE
Ain’t shit change, man.
MACON
Things changed for me.
NIQUE
Is he always like this?
ANDRE
I just met him, Nique.
NIQUE
Fine. We’ll play twenty questions. How did shit change for you?
MACON
I stopped believing in justice even a little bit. Any faith I had left in the system, or in white people, pretty much evaporated when I noticed no one around me gave a fuck.
NIQUE
Interesting.
ANDRE
All right. Enough. I been trying not to ask, dude, but I gotta. What’s up with all this ‘white people’ shit? You like an undercover brother or something?
MACON
Not at all. I don’t even have one of those grew-up-in-the-hood stories to justify myself.
NIQUE
The wigger goes poststructuralist. Interesting.
ANDRE
Okaaay.
NIQUE
So you just don’t like white people?
MACON
I don’t like whiteness. And as a white person looking for some heroes, it’s lonely out here. Look at me for instance. Sure I might have missed a couple of ferries back to Honkytown, but so what? They run every hour. I can sunbathe on the island of Blackness all summer. But when the seasons change, will I hunker down and spend the winter in my vacation spot?
NIQUE
Dunno, nigga, will you?
MACON
Everybody thinks they will, but there’s no way to tell who’s down, really, until we hit the crucial moment.
NIQUE
Ah yes. The crucial moment. When rivers of blood gush through the streets and Uncle Tom’s ghost pulls white folks hearts out of their chests to balance them against a feather.
MACON
No racial apocalypse needed. Individuals face individual moments of reckoning. And most bitch out.
ANDRE
How ‘bout John Brown, Harpers Ferry?
NIQUE
Leave it to Dre to pull a heroic white man out his ass.
MACON
You know why John Brown tried to free those slaves? His old lady left him for a slave owner. The whole thing was a crazy, ill-conceived act of revenge. Fuck John Brown.
NIQUE
Oh man! ‘Fuck John Brown’. I love it. So you’re it, huh, dog? The downest whiteboy in history.
MACON
I didn’t say that.
ANDRE
I never heard that shit about John Brown.
MACON
They don’t teach it in school.
NIQUE
True. True indeed. Feeding the black man nothing but his-story, tricknowledgy, and sinformation.
MACON
And charging him an arm and a leg for it.
NIQUE
Yes indeed. Causing the black man to fall deeper and deeper into financial bondage until he is forced, despite his fancy degree, to return to the ghetto from whence he came and sell poison to innocent black babies, just like whitey planned. Because the only B.A. worth a damn in this world, brothers and sisters, is your Black Ass.
ANDRE
Amen, Minister Farrakhan. Can I get another beer or something?
NIQUE
Get it yourself.
ANDRE
Okaaay.
NIQUE
So listen. For real, though: You kids wanna make some cash? Come work for me. I’m making moves this year.
MACON
That’s my middle name, Macon moves.
ANDRE
Dam you stupid, Macon.
NIQUE
This dude is all right, Dre. Might be able to do business, Moves. Don’t worry. I’m an equal-opportunity employer. No Jim Crow laws here.
MACON
What is it, exactly, that you do, Nique?
NIQUE
Give you a hint, fella. I’m a young black entrepreneur from the ghetto who can’t rhyme or run ball. What does a lifetime of media saturation tell you I do?
MACON
Sell drugs?
NIQUE
Give the man a prize.
ANDRE
Nique’s been talking this high-roller street pharmacist shit since he was selling fools oregano nic bags in high school. He ain’t got no game.
NIQUE
Whatever. That was then, blood. Your boy is on some shit now. Don’t hate. Congratulate. Anyway. Over the summer I landed this gig manning a toll booth on the highway out in Queens. Now, you may ask yourself ‘What does a big pimpin’ mother fucker like Dominique want working a tollbooth like a buster?’ Unsupervised hand-to-hand transactions, baby. Feel me?
MACON
You’re pumping from a tollbooth?
NIQUE
Drive through service, baby. You hit me on the cell and I tell you which terminal I’m at. No fuss, no muss. Gone in thirty seconds.
ANDRE
I gotta give it to you this time, that’s kinda brilliant.
NIQUE
I know. It’s getting so I need occasional assistance of a clerical slash product-managerial nature. If you’re interested, perhaps we can schedule an interview.
MACON
I don’t think I have the curriculum vitae you’re looking for.
NIQUE
Honest answer, Mr. Moves.
NIQUE and MACON exchange a pound.
MACON
I gotta rise.
NIQUE
Word.
MACON
We’ll catch up.
NIQUE
Yes we will.
ANDRE
See you back at the spot.
MACON
Peace.
NIQUE
At least your boy there is trying. More than you can say for most of them.
ANDRE
Heroes. It’s always about heroes.
NIQUE
My new hero is this fool they got on the news tonight. You seen this shit? This is why I love our people. Only niggas do some shit like this. My man’s a cabbie right? And for whatever reason, he just flips. He’s put up with enough bullshit from white folks or whatever and he robs this yuppie at gunpoint, dumps him on the FDR and skates. Channel Nine said he ‘unleashed a racial tirade’ while he jacked him. Wow.
ANDRE
Macon drives a cab.
NIQUE
Word? Maybe he knows the guy. Course, the only description they have is that the dude is black. Narrows it down to like ten thousand cats. Then again, knowing Macon, they’re probably drinking buddies.
ANDRE
Please, Macon barely knows himself.
Sounds of the keyboard line of “The Message” takes Macon to:
MACON
Shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Can’t be afraid to walk in your own city, that’s the first step toward self-segregation. Okay! I’ll cut through the park. This is a test, it is only a test... You ain’t testing me, I’m testing myself. I will emerge from this park and be able to say, with confidence, you are tripping. The park is fine at night!
A sudden noise from a dark corner.
It is pretty creepy though.
The huge frame of a MAN steps out of the shadows.
MAN/Nique
Yo! Ayo. C’mere a second. You! C’mere. I ain’t gonna hurt you. (shouting in a different direction) I found somebody. Let’s do it. (back to MACON) I said come here!
MACON goes to the man.
Follow me.
He walks off the path and MACON follows. Eventually he steps into a clearing and turns around to face MACON. Another MAN step out from the shadows. They are dressed in black from skullies to boots. After a moment,
MAN/ACTOR 1/Nique
Welcome to the People’s Cooperative Guerilla Theatre, an aggressive, community-based literacy program headquartered here in Morningside Park. We recruit randomly and don’t take no for an answer. Tonight’s reading is of Henrik Ibsen’s classic A Doll’s House. We would be honored to have you play the role of Nora. Are you familiar with the play?
The MAN/ACTOR thrusts a copy at MACON. The other players pull out their own copies of the play.
MACON
Uh, no, no I’m not. Actually I’m kinda tired. It’s two-thirty in the morning. Why do you perform so late? And in the woods?
ACTOR 2/ Andre (almost attacking MACON)
Arms up!
ACTOR 2 whips out a tape measure and wraps it around MACON’s waist.
Size ten, size ten!
ACTOR 1
There isn’t a whole lot of support in the community. Not since we expanded our focus beyond African American playwrights. It’s hard enough getting black folks to come see theater to begin with, but do you know what it’s like trying to convince the Frederick Douglass Playhouse to let you do The Importance of Being Earnest or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead?
MACON
I can imagine. But what’s wrong with African American playwrights? I think –
ACTOR 1
We ain’t a monochromatic people! I got a lotta colors in my closet, you understand? Black man got a right to wear pink when he damn well pleases. Got a right to wear turquoise and chartreuse and motherfucking polka dots if we want to. I ain’t just a raisin in the sun. I’m a tomato in the rain forest.
ACTOR 2
A cantaloupe in the desert. A dandelion in a fine sea mist!
MACON
I got it.
ACTOR 1
Which only makes the work we do more vital. Costume! Chop-chop!
ACTOR 2 (presents a long floral print dress)
This oughta fit just great.
MACON starts to undress.
ACTOR 1
Over your clothes is fine. Now let’s get started. Act One. Scene One. A small townhouse in the center of Oslo.
MACON steps into the dress. ACTOR 1 zips him up. Lights change. MACON steps out of the dress ANDRE snaps him out of his routine.
ANDRE
Macon, Macon!
MACON
Hey, what’s up, Andre?
ANDRE
What happened to you? You get laid?
MACON
Waylaid. I got stopped by the People’s Cooperative Guerilla Theater. We did A Doll’s House.
ANDRE
What the hell?
MACON
I played Nora.
ANDRE
Well you missed orientation. You know there are a lot of stupid cats here. Apparently someone in Housing decided to play a joke and make the fifth floor the Dave floor. Most of the Dave’s are pretty upset.
MACON
When do classes start?
ANDRE
Today fool. They assigned us advisors, you’re supposed to meet with them before you register. I’ma hit Intro to Black Studies and then holla at this chick I met last night. She’s got friends. Interested?
Street sounds.
MACON
Naw, gotta work.
MACON steps back into his cab.
Driving. Avoiding white passengers for their own good. Such a delicious pleasure in restraint. How long can I hold out before I choose the next one? Flip on the radio. Rock. Jazz. Spanish music. More jazz. Uh, Ain’t No Future in Your Frontin. Uh, there it is-- The song ends though and I bring my taxi to a halt on Greenwich Avenue and let a casually dressed white man into the back seat. Why this guy? What’s he done?
GUY
One Sixteenth and Broadway, Columbia University please.
Guy does choreographed movement slipping himself into the cab space
MACON
He knows why. Doesn’t matter if I do. He knows. Stare at this white face in my rear view mirror. Who is he? Who does he look like? I know! Five years ago-Mr. Cavanaugh, from the art store, that’s who he looks like!
Sound: “Grazing in the Grass”
GUY turns into MR CAVENAUGH as JIHAD enters. They enact the following:
Month after month, Jihad sauntered up and down the narrow aisle of the art store, being black, hands pocketed while Cavenaugh followed suspicious of his every move-- while I crammed my backpack full of fatcaps, cans of Krylon, felt tipped markers, and slipped out the door while Cavenaugh trailed my decoy--
I turn left at Ninety-sixth Street and pull over on an isolated stretch of road along the water.
GUY
Excuse me but –
MACON
-But-- my gun is in your face. Leave your wallet on the seat and walk, motherfucker.
GUY
Excuse me. I’m sorry. I don’t understand?
MACON
Your wallet, give it to me. You people are a plague on this planet. Hurry up. Now get outta my cab.
GUY gives MACON his wallet and scurries away. GUY moves in liquid motion as the scene dissolves.
Huh. Not as exciting as the first time. Such a quiet rush but in its place a cold new confidence. A steely professionalism that’s almost as gratifying. The shift has begun.
Sound: “My Philosophy” Lights shift
MACON joins ANDRE in class. The PROFESSOR is at the podium.
PROFESSOR
Hello, class, hello. Good afternoon to you all. I’m sure you have read my book, Black to the Future. The New Yorker called it a ‘much needed guide to gangsta culture and black youth.’ If not, don’t worry, it’s on the syllabus. You’ll find it under my former name, Boyd Randow, which I changed two years ago to Umamu Shaheed Alam which means ‘esteemed prince and wise leader.’
ANDRE (to MACON)
Why is it that fools always change their names to some impossibly grandiose shit? How come you never meet a cat whose junk means ‘midlevel bureaucrat’ or ‘lecherous drunken retard’?
PROFESSOR
Are you finished? My book has met with considerable success. I’ve been very lucky. I was a poor young brother. Put myself through school. Daddy drove a city bus until he left. Now I drive a Range Rover. I’m in negotiations with BET for my own show, The Rap on Rap. And even though I am a tenured professor now, I’m still true to the game. Ya heard? You see, a lot of my colleagues in the academy don’t understand that rappers are some of our most talented actors and storytellers. That’s why a brother like myself has got to get’em in the ring and do a l’il boxing!
PROFESSOR cues the music, starts rocking back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet like he is prepping for the big fight.
‘Murder was the case that they gave me / I can’t die, my boo-boo’s about to have my baby’ Snoop Doggy Dog. Dogg Pound Gangsta for life!
I consider myself the Academic Gangsta. Gangsta meaning Goal-Achieving Nigga Gonna Stay True Always. Nigga meaning Never-Ignorant Go-Getting Asiatic. I’ma continue to defend rap, brothers and sisters, no matter how the words of an educated black man, a best-selling author, might intimidate rap’s critics.
MACON
Everything about it?
ANDRE
Here we go.
PROFESSOR
Pardon me?
MACON
I said, you wanna defend everything about hip hop? What about the violence? What about the misogyny?
PROFESSOR
As I argue in my book, rappers are postmodern actors interrogating the dislocation of organic sensibilities. We don’t demand responsibility or predicate realism from the characters Arnold Schwarzenegger plays, so why should we insist that rappers conform to some notion of authenticity? Why can’t we just enjoy the fiction?
MACON
It’s easy to celebrate hip hop if you call it fiction, Professor. But if it’s fiction, nobody has to answer for anything – not rappers or the people responsible for the problems rap addresses. If it’s fiction, we’re just crying wolf.
PROFESSOR
If it’s fiction, it’s art! Raps critics are trying to dilute art with politics and denigrate the form.
MACON
But that’s wrong! ‘Rap is –
PROFESSOR
As I argue in my book –
MACON
You call that an argument?
PROFESSOR
Rap is here to stay and it is what it is! Moving on –
MACON leaps up out of his chair and disappears.
Sound: “My Philosophy”, Traffic sounds. Lights shift.
MACON (sits in his cab with a paper bag, dumps it out on the seat)
Cover up any ID of myself in this cab. Wallets, neckties and more than four thousand dollars. This is some quit-while-you’re-ahead dough. So this is it, one final shift. Then I’m gonna park my cab and turn in my keys and stroll away without pushing New York City’s limits any further. But first I’m gonna visit Nique at his tollbooth and bum some weed. – Drive through service, baby.
NIQUE
You know this! Damn Moves, you look like death eating a sandwich dog.
MACON
I feel like a bullshit ass Raskolnikov.
NIQUE
Just comparing your life to classic literature doesn’t make your life classic literature. Wha’ happened?
MACON
I guess this taxi driving is stressing me out.
NIQUE
White people are really losing their minds over this cab thing, huh?
NIQUE
Man, they love it. They’re having a field day. You been listening to the radio? Interviewed all these outraged white people about hate crimes and ‘We entrust these people with our lives,’ playing the victim roll like they been practicing for years and shit. They talked to a couple of black folks who were like ‘Hey, cabs are finally stopping for us cause everybody white’s afraid to take ‘em.’
MACON
Huh.
NIQUE
This is my favorite. There’s a group that’s boycotting the cab companies until they find the criminal, right? And dude, they organized a carpool for crackers to get to work. It’s like the Montgomery bus boycott on acid. I love it. You must be in high demand out here, huh? White cabbie in this city right now? You the man.
MACON
Not me. I can’t even get arrested in this town
Street sounds. MACON peels off, pulls over and a GUY gets into the cab.
GUY
Boy am I glad to see you.
MACON
Blue suit, white shirt, red tie. Fucking presidential.
GUY
Excuse me?
MACON
Where to?
GUY
59th and Lex.
MACON
Alright. I drive half a block, slam the gearshift into park, hit the locks, spin around.
What color am I? Look at me. What color am I?
GUY
Y-you’re white.
MACON pulls out his gun and thrusts it towards the GUY.
MACON
Now what color am I?
Silence.
It’s not a trick question! Take a good look. What color am I?
GUY
White!
MACON
Jesus. Thank you. I thought I was going insane here. Now give me your wallet and that lovely tie, asshole, and get out of my cab. Hurry. Before you forget what I look like.
GUY gets out of MACON’s cab and runs off.
Act Two
TRAITOR
FLEET WALKER enters with his book. Andre reads.
ANDRE
Time's up Fleet Walker!
FLEET
In the fourth I'm up again with a man on first and one out. The pitcher looks at Anson who nods his head.
ANDRE
Swing that bat like you gon’ swing from a tree.
FLEET
I know to duck even before it leaves the pitcher's hand. The wind up. The pitch. That didn't even hurt!
ANDRE
You better get used to this. Every pitcher in this league gon' throw at your head boy. I don’t understand you Fleet. Every other nigger in the league knows he’s not wanted and leaves.
FLEET
Maybe you’re afraid to pitch to me.
ANDRE
I’m not the one who should be scared. We’ll talk later.
FLEET
In the bottom of the ninth inning, I tighten my grip and await what I hope is the first real pitch of the day.
A fastball on the corner, thank god, and I get all of it.
FLEET swings, crack of the bat, silence in the stadium. Everybody watches the ball soar.
It drops into the empty section of bleachers marked For Coloreds Only.
The sound of the ball ricocheting around under the bleachers as FLEET rounds the bases. The scene peels away and leaves MACON reading FLEET’S book.
MACON
Yes! Yes! You beat them- you can’t catch him!
COP
--Macon Detornay?
MACON
Yea?
COP
Mr. Detornay, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent.
MACON
No, really.
COP handcuffs MACON.
COP
Detornay. What is that French? Or maybe Italian, depending on how it’s spelled. Sure doesn’t sound like any African-American name I ever heard though.
MACON
Fuck you!
COP
Now why would you say that, Macon? I don’t understand. I guess I was right, your gonna feel unworthy unless I give you a few trophies to remember me by. You know, martyrdom and all.
COP grabs him, jerks him upright and jabs him in the stomach with a night stick.
COP drags MACON to the jail cell.
I’ll bet you’re from the suburbs, aren’t you? Enjoy your cell.
MACON (entering cell)
Hey wassup.
SILK/ Nique
Wassup. They give you a little brown paper bag with food when they put you in?
MACON
Huh? Why?
SILK
I’ll you give two bones for half the sammich in there.
MACON
Oh, I'm not hungry anyway.
SILK
You will be.
MACON
Ever hear they put saltpeter in the food?
SILK
Fuck's that?
MACON
Some kinda 19th century chemical. Keeps the sex drive down.
SILK
Fine with me. I'ma be in here awhile.
MACON
Ah, so, you know what happens?
SILK
You can probably post bail tomorrow morning. If you got somebody to post for you.
MACON
How much you think it is?
SILK
Depends. What's the charge?
MACON
Armed robbery... Multiple counts.
SILK
Oh shit. So you're a dangerous criminal. Heh heh heh. Ain't cheap, brother. Better call your parents. I’m out, wake me if anything jumps off.
MACON
Fine, I’ll ride this out, take a nap…And dream:
Sound : “The Cosby Show Theme”
Ah, the Cosbys. The familiar Huxtable household. But, but, but thing’s are amiss. The Huxtable’s stately living room is filled with screaming children- shitty diapered infants wailing, teenagers in bubble goose jackets ciphering, bead braided junior high school girls double dutching in the foyer with a pair of live snakes as jump ropes.
NIQUE
A dirty beat explodes from the speakers, next to a pair of eight year olds in Rick James jumpsuits. And- laying supine on the couch:
MACON
Old Dirty Bastard!!
ODB/ Andre
The God got thirteen beautiful mothafuckin black babies, ten baby mamas, three platinum records, fourteen gun charges, six drug cases, two gun shot wounds, and no dough. But I’m lounging, God. Up in the plush crib like whaaaaat?---
Sound: “Baby I Got Your Money”
A loud scream wakes Macon up, ODB transforms into an incoming celly.
LUNATIC/ Andre
Listen to me!
COP
Shut up and get in the cell. Yeah yeah, head it all before.
LUNATIC
Turn me loose! Turn me loose! Give me back my papers! You won't get away with this!
MACON
Say, man? You alright?
LUNATIC
No, I'm not alright! (to the cop) I'll report you to the President, you hear? You want to destroy my evidence but you can't cover up your crimes! I'll publish them to the world!
SILK
Hey, Fish, what's going on-- oh, this brother again. I know this dude; went nuts from studying too much. Some professor had him committed.
LUNATIC (grabbing Macon's hand)
You gotta help me. You gotta call this number and tell them where I am. (hands Macon a paper) They'll know what to do. They'll contact the President and tell him of my findings. Promise you'll call! I'm not crazy! I know who really killed Tupac and Biggie Smalls. And Geronimo Pratt and Len Bias.
MACON
Geronimo Pratt?! Someone killed Len Bias? Nah he over--
LUNATIC
You'll never get away with this! I know why you put me here!
COP
SHUT UP! You- you- Suburbs, you made bail, say bye to your friends.
MACON
Me? Allright fellas, peace- careful about the food, dude.
LUNATIC
Call the number!
COP
Let’s go, unless you’d rather stay with your roommates.
MACON
Hold up, who killed Tupac?!
LUNATIC
It was--!
COP
Let’s go! Somebody out there likes you kid. Paperwork's all taken care of, now get out of here.
MACON exits the station to an explosion of megawatt flashbulbs.
REPORTERS / Chorus of the Cast
Macon! Macon! Macon!
Will you comment on the charges?
Did you know they thought you were black?
Are white people evil?
How does feel to be the most notorious criminal since Bernard Goetz?
ANDRE and NIQUE push their way through the crowd.
MACON
Andre! Nique!
ANDRE (hugging MACON)
Macon! Yo, man! You all right?
NIQUE
Don't answer anything these fools ask you! Leave everything to me. Ladies and gentlemen of the press, please allow me to introduce Mr. Macon Detornay, a young man whose stunning honesty, intelligence, and courage in addressing the questions of race in these United States make him one of our most valuable new thinkers. At this time Macon cannot answer any questions pertaining to his legal situation.
MACON
What the hell are you doing?
NIQUE
I knew it was you dude. I knew it.
MACON
Maybe you didn't hear me. I asked you what the hell you were doing?
NIQUE
You're full-blown dog. Front page of the Post today - The New Face of Hate, with a picture. Lead story on TV last night. Motherfuckers want to kill you and elect you mayor.
ANDRE
You're ‘what happens when white people listen to hip hop’, according to KRS-One on the Times op-ed page.
NIQUE
Mad kids are loving you on some revolutionary Robin Hood shit. You talk, the country listens. So talk, goddammit.
MACON
KRS said that?
ANDRE
Uh huh.
NIQUE pushes MACON toward the spotlight. MACON takes it in.
MACON
I want to talk about white people.
REPORTER
Like you?
MACON
Right. Like me. I want to talk about white people because if I expose us for what we are, maybe we'll change. Or at least change the way we act. The funny thing is who am I exposing white people to? It ain't news to black folks that whites are still racist. I guess I'm exposing white people to themselves. We've gotten so good at pretending we're not racist that we've started to believe it.
REPORTER
Channel Four Action News. How does a white kid from an affluent suburb end up with such a disdain for white people?
MACON (laughing)
You just answered your own question. Where I'm from is so insulated and complacent that I think the real question is why more people don't freak out and get like me.
REPORTER
But you personally, what makes you -
MACON
Right, right, the puzzle piece you're looking for is hip hop. That's what led me to make friends with black people. Most white people, even if they have black friends, never expose themselves to any situation that will make them feel uncomfortable or like the minority. Me, I feel uncomfortable if I'm not the minority.
REPORTER
But isn’t that hypocritical?
MACON
Of course, you'll find I'm highly hypocritical. Part of me believes we're all the same, and part of me believes in every racist fairy tale I've ever heard, even the ones that contradict the other ones. So don't expect anything coherent to come out of my mouth. I'm struggling with this. I do know one thing, though: I'm finished being quiet.
REPORTER
What would you tell other white kids like yourself? Will hip hop do for them what it did for you?
MACON
Proly not. There’s more to it than that.
He turns to the news camera.
All you white kids out there who like hip-hop, keep in mind that hip-hop doesn’t need you – I mean us. Maybe you should leave it alone. No, wait, keep listening to it but don’t try to rap. No, all right, buy it but don’t listen to it. No, okay, you can do whatever you want, just be respectful and realize that you’re not who it’s for – well at this point maybe you are who it’s for but you didn’t create it and your people are exploiting it like they have every other . . . see that’s the problem . . .
NIQUE taps him on the shoulder and whispers something into his ear.
Okay. All right. Here’s the sound bite. “White people aren’t evil, but evil is white people.” Coming soon to a T-Shirt near you.
NIQUE
Only $199.99- one size fits all. Cut! That’s a wrap folks. We’ll be in touch.
NIQUE pushes MACON out off the spot light. The REPORTER fades away.
You were great! This is gonna be some shit!
ANDRE
This shit is nuts! They’re got to be a hundred plus protestors flooding the street. Not good.
NIQUE
Are you kidding me? The more the better. We’re getting ricochet publicity off them. Damn, Moves, I’m gonna make you a star- everybody wants the well-spoken white criminal race traitor. You wanna answer the door? Opportunity is knocking.
MACON
Shoulda called before he came.
ANDRE
Come on man, I saw you up there having the time of your life. Ain’t no way I’m buying this reluctant hero prima donna stuff now, so you might as well sit up and get your game face on. I’ll roll a joint if that’ll help.
MACON
I wouldn’t stop you. All right. Hit me.
NIQUE
Okay! I say we hit it full force tomorrow- radio, tv, and even the press- full court press. TV Radio TV Radio. We freak this right, we can go higher level.
MACON
Whoa, whoa, hold up. Shouldn’t I be worrying about getting my ass a lawyer and staying out of jail, not to mention alive?
NIQUE
Listen, why do you think those wack jobs outside are so mad? Everybody knows you’re guilty as sin but for the case to stick- all the victims would have to reverse their statements about you being a brother for one thing which would make them look ridiculous. It’s assault and petty robbery, dude. A decent lawyer will get you off with a suspended sentence, at worst. And if you get famous enough, Moves, we can hire one of the best. So let’s get you famous motherfucker.
MACON
How much was my bail?
ANDRE
Twenty-five grand.
MACON
What? Where the hell did you guys get that kind of dough?
ANDRE
Found four grand in your sock drawer, I had six—
MACON
You had six g’s?
NIQUE
This fool’s momma got money. Why you think he be actin so funny style—
ANDRE
Man shut up. It’s true, though- my mother spotted me the rest. Well- she owes me big. She’s an entertainment lawyer and I brought her the biggest client of her career last spring. Plus I told her about you and Cap Anson. That really moved her somehow.
MACON
Andre, I mean, thanks, but- I’ve known you for four days. Why would you--what do you guys want from me?
NIQUE
Me, my two main interests happen to be starting a revolution and buying a drop-top Azure Bentley. I figure I'm’a get at least one of those two things outta this.
ANDRE
I’ve decided to believe in you until you give me reason not to. Somebody’s gotta light a fire under white people. Every time a brother does it, somebody up and kills him, so it might as well be you.
MACON
I appreciate that Dre. I promise I won’t let you down.
ANDRE
Listen to this fool, sounding like a politician already.
NIQUE
He damn well better. A chance like this doesn’t come along every day. For any of us. We gotta be making moves here and now. Pun intended. That twenty-five is an investment, Moves. A year from now I’ll be selling stock in your ass.
MACON
Twenty-five grand. If I was black and robbing black folks, it’d be twenty-five bucks – then again, if I was black and I’d robbed all those crackers, it’d be like –
NIQUE/ANDRE
Be like your ass was still in jail.
MACON
I gotta get some air.
NIQUE
Try Connecticut.
MACON
But just to bring it back to reality like Soul II Soul –
NIQUE
Or Intelligent Hoodlum –
MACON
Who just sampled the Soul II Soul song –
NIQUE
Who just sampled the drums Marley Marl gave Biz for ‘Pickin’ Boogers’.
ANDRE
Who sampled them from some funk record we don’t know about - regardless. Point being you can’t just mosey on downstairs, dude. There’s a mob calling for your blood outside.
NIQUE
I bet there’s already Macon Detornay websites up.
ANDRE
Can anybody in this room focus on anything? I think you should just stay here.
MACON
Suggestion duly noted and rejected. What good is you bailing me out if I’m a prisoner in my own room?
ANDRE
Well at least be careful.
NIQUE
We should come with you.
MACON
Aight, how about you and all of New York?!
ANDRE
What you got brewing over there?
MACON
Nothing. Just Nueva York’s favorite alleged criminal slash race theorist slash now-and-again poet will be giving a free public reading tonight on some ol’ grassroots rock-the-boulevard shit.
ANDRE
He will?
MACON
Old school baby. Can y’all find me a soap box?
ANDRE
I don’t think soap comes in boxes anymore, dude. What about snipers?
NIQUE
They don’t come in boxes, either. I’m feeling you Moves. Some underground messiah shit. We’ll hook it up so only the media and the truly down will be there. I’ll do some real selective publicity, hold it like to a hundred heads. . . hell yeah. Where do you wanna do this?
MACON
One Two Fifth and Lenox, right where Malcolm used to preach.
NIQUE
Perfect.
MACON, NIQUE, and ANDRE find themselves immersed in a crowd. MACON pulls a hat down over his eyes. NIQUE watches MACON.
NIQUE
Damn, Big Time, look at you. Incog-negro like a mug.
MACON
A hundred people, Nique? Shiiiit, look at this, it’s three times that!
NIQUE
I know, TV trucks, stage lights.
ANDRE
This is fifteen phone calls and two chat room postings?
NIQUE
Think what we coulda done!
WHITE BOY/ Guy
Yo! Macon!
NIQUE
Yo, Moves, coming for you.
A WHITE BOY in a PNB Nation sweatshirt approaches.
WHITE BOY/ Guy
Yo son! You keeping it mad real, na’mean? No justice, no peace. Power to the people. You don’t vote you don’t count. No more Chernobyls. Tawana told the truth. Free Mumia. Free the whales. It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber. Rock the vote. Chevrolet: We build excitement. One love, dawg. I got your back, mang. Stay up. Harambe. Peace and blessings.
MACON
I’m not so sure this disguise is working too well.
NIQUE
Let’s take it to the stage.
NIQUE
Ladies and gentlemen! Children of all ages. I’m about to bring on Macon Detornay. And I know you want to see my man, right? Ya’ll feel me? So you wanna hear Macon? Are ya’ll ready for Macon Detornay?
MACON steps forward.
MACON
This joint is called ‘It’s Your World Tour’ because it’s kinda all over the place. Last time I read like half the audience walked out on me. I hope you guys are a little more receptive.
peep the dj as counter-revolutionary
starting one by stopping one
backspinning beginnings cutting space time continuums
cut & paste drum & bass peep the dj dropping one
Soundscape: NIQUE “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” remix,
(to NIQUE)
cut & paste drum & bass peep the dj dropping one
(to ANDRE)
starting one by stopping one
Soundscape: NIQUE beatboxes beat to “8 Million Stories” remix,
falling to his knees
in the garden of delights
transplanting funk perennials
to bigger flowerpots
pre moistened
with the mississippi goddamn water wring
from lunch counter revolutionaries’
soaking clothes
with the mississippi goddamn water wring
from lunch counter revolutionaries’
soaking clothes
Soundscape: Minister Farrakhan
Black is Black/ Black is Black/ Black is Black/ Black is Black
NIQUE/MACON
“Black is Black not blue or purple
Being black is like a circle
Round and round we all will go
Where we end up I don’t know”
Soundscape: Matisyahu
that’s word
just sit right here and do my thing
destruction has two opposites preservation & creation
voice too hoarse from rhyming into broken mics to sing along
Yo Nique, Andre follow me:
we shall over sle-e-eep we shall over sle-e-eep we shall over sle-e-eep
we shall over sle-e-eep we shall over sle-e-eep
NIQUE
Wake up!
ANDRE
Wake up!
MACON
Wake up!
Lights Out.
ACT TWO
ALL
What the hell? What the hell what the hell
Lights Up
ANDRE
I can’t believe how smooth that went.
MACON
I gotta keep running with the ball.
ANDRE
The end zone being where, exactly?
MACON
That I’m not sure of yet. I tend to think on my toes.
ANDRE
Only on your toes?
MACON
It’s just a question of answering whatever they ask me and coming up with some brilliant plan on the fly.
ANDRE
That’s so Zen it makes me wanna smack you in the mouth. This isn’t a grade school book report, dude. Reporters are gunning for your ass. Don’t you think we should brainstorm a little?
MACON
If you really want to help me, figure out how to make white kids think I’m cool enough to listen to when I tell them do shit they don’t wanna do. How do we make feeling stupid and vulnerable sound cool?
ANDRE
Sounds like you already got a plan.
MACON
Not really. I just know I’ve gotta put some pressure on white people. Challenge them.
ANDRE
That’s good, the best defense is a good offense and believe me you’re gonna need one – do you know what people are saying about you? Have you read the Wall Street Journal today?
NIQUE
You read the Journal? Get the fuck outta here.
ANDRE
Anyway, the point is that the press is covering you like you’re a dangerous lunatic, not some new great thinker. Even the folks who like you think you’re nuts. You’ve got to change that.
NIQUE
I couldn’t agree more, Moves. You’ve gotta hit them with some history. Some scholarship. Quote DuBois and shit. You know.
ANDRE
Start an organization. The second people hear association or foundation they start taking you more seriously.
NIQUE
The space you wanna occupy is Black Media Radical. As long as there’s TV there’s gotta be one. I like the organization thing. Makes it seem more real.
ANDRE
How’s something with ‘Evil is white people’? That’s our soundbite right?
NIQUE
Too out, dude, too crazy. If we stick with it, we’ll alienate the world.
MACON (blurts out)
‘The Race Traitor Project’!
NIQUE
Not bad. Catchy but scary. Forces reporters to ask you what it means. There’s a built in launching pad.
Aight. Now that that’s settled I’ll get on the horn and book your ass. Start working on a plan.
MACON
Trust me. At least as far as you can throw me.
Sound: TV Music
TV/Guy
RISE AND SHINE NEW YORK! Rise and shiiine! Rise and shine, New York. We're here with Macon Detornay, a Columbia student and a taxi driver who's had an interesting week to say the least. So, Macon, welcome! How are you this morning?
MACON
It's nice to be out of jail. I'd like to give a big shout-out to everybody watching from behind bars.
TV/GUY
Should we wave to them? Let’s wave. Hi homies! So Macon, tell us what we want to know: is there a special lady in your life?
MACON
Uh... no.
TV/GUY
Well, I'm sure that'll change soon. So! You're starting a new organization, tell us about that.
MACON
Well guy, it's called the Race Traitor Project and it's an attempt to force white people to confront the injustice
of their institutional, economic and social privilege in this country and work to level the playing field.
TV/GUY
Hmmmm…Sounds interesting.
MACON
What's this show about, anyway? I mean, it's pretty much about nothing, right? It's more a way to distract
people.
TV/GUY
Distract them from what, Macon?
MACON
Hey…I wonder what your audience thinks of this: I bet they wouldn't say “nigger,” would they?
NIQUE
What the fuck's he doing?
TV/GUY
N-no, of course they wouldn't. It's a terrible word. Uh…
MACON
Oh, come on, guy. I think it sometimes, don't you? Haven't you ever found yourself thinking 'Why are
niggers always so loud at movie theaters?' Or, 'I'm standing on this elevator with three niggers?' Even
though you don't mean to? Even though you like black people?
ANDRE
Oh, shit. Please don't...
MACON
How do you feel when you catch yourself? Do you think it makes you racist?
TV/GUY
Yes, I, I... sometimes I do.
MACON
Have a seat, Guy. Great first step—
MACON is milking the moment-- Suddenly, the host storms off and the audience claps awkwardly and sound takes us to cheery theme music and to commercial.
TV/GUY
Cut cut cut who booked this jerk?!
MACON
All too easy.
NIQUE
I should smack the shit out of you, dude. You think people gonna book you if you pull that kind of junk?
Play to win, Moves. You get ejected, we lose.
TV show music shifts them to:
JOE FRANCIS/GUY
And now The Joe Francis Show is proud to bring to you Mr. Macon Detornay, here to discuss his new organization -The Race Traitor Project. Welcome. Thanks for being here today.
MACON
No problem.
JOE FRANCIS
Let’s begin with the events that made you famous, without asking you to comment on the charges perse –
MACON
Afraid I can’t go near that with a ten-foot pole Joe. What I will address though is how white people, especially white people with money, we owe a great moral debt and we should be giving back before the people we exploited decide it’s time to take theirs back.
JOE FRANICS
Is that what you consider someone who robbed white people to be doing - taking back?
MACON
It depends, who the person is, Joe. I hope that no one else will have to resort to crime. But--I want to say this to white people out there who might be thinking of committing crimes: Please make them white-on-white--
JOE FRANCIS
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take that seriously or not?
MACON
You know what Joe, neither do I. My job is to make whiteness visable. See white people don’t see themselves as white, they see themselves as normal. You ever heard a white person describe someone as white? ‘What’s Ed look like?’ ‘O, he’s about six-two, white guy, moustache.’ Never. But if it’s a person of another race, they’ll mention it every time. First thing usually. ‘John? Black guy, three feet tall with a big prehensile tail and an extra arm growing out of his back.’ Whiteness is off the radar, Joe. There’s no analysis of what it means to be white, historically and socially and psychologically. And before you even ask me Joe-- no, I don’t think everything is white folks’ fault. I’m talking about them because they’re my responsibility. When I talk about white people, I’m talking about myself.
JOE FRANCIS
That’s interesting, Macon, because people seem to consider you the blackest white person they’ve ever seen.
MACON
Well, thank you, Joe. I take that as a compliment. That’s what the Race Traitor Project is all about: encouraging people to take the first step of recognizing the privilege and the historical legacy that whiteness represents.
JOE FRANCIS
And, I would presume, becoming ‘traitors’ to whiteness.
MACON
It’s not an easy thing to do, Joe.
JOE FRANCIS
Fascinating.
MACON
Joe you seem receptive to the Race Traitor Project. Would you consider supporting us?
JOE FRANCIS
In the words of Macon Detornay: I can’t touch that with a ten foot pole. That’s all the time we have today.
Again, the audience claps awkwardly and sound takes us to theme music and to another TV show.
TV/Guy
Inside the Political Studio. Tonight we will be fielding your live calls and addressing The Race Traitor Project. With us is its leader. Macon Detornay. Now. Today's topic is that most persistent of American conundrums, race relations. Joining us are Marcell "Jackfruit" Preston, Congressional hopeful and former New York Giants nosetackle; and grassroots Harlem organizer and owner of three Dream Weavers hair salons Eldridge Umfufu McDowell. Macon, we'll begin with you: What is the biggest obstacle in improving the state of race relations in America today?
MACON
White people.
TV/Guy
So until more whites commit to opening channels of dialogue--
MACON
That lets us off the hook too easy. We need to start with a basic acknowledgement of culpability.
TV/Guy
Okay, then. First respondent. Mister Preston.
JACKFRUIT/ Andre
Call me Jackfruit please. Wait- wait- am I on? On the radio?
TV/Guy
Yes we are live. You are on the air.
JACKFRUIT/ Andre
I just talk now and you hear me on the radio? Okay. Well, let me say this: The last thing we need to do is worry about assigning blame here. Our duty as a nation is to move beyond the problems of the past and embrace the principles of equality on which this country was founded.
MACON
That “response” is funny for so many reasons. You think the black community should just forgive and forget and look ahead to all those great token jobs? To getting shot by cops, talked past in schools, turned down by banks and thrown in jail?
TV/Guy
I don’t know... Respondent number two. Mr. McDowell.
E/ Nique
That’s Mister Umfufu McDowell! And lemme say – why am I the last respondent? That’s some bull—
TV/Guy
Please Sir- we are live.
E/ Nique
Well lemme say this then: What makes a young whiteboy such an expert on the black community? What we need is to be left alone by outside agitators and bourgeois politicians, so we can build our own economic and political power bases.
MACON
No- I’m not an expert on black people- I'm an expert on white people! Economic and political power bases, huh? You think white people are gonna stand for that?
E/Nique
What?!
MACON
Do you know any white people? We'll be in there slanging malt liquor and gentrifying blocks before you can say 'each one, teach one.'
E/Nique
What?! Let me out this radio booth – I’ll whup your—
TV/Guy
Please Sir- this is a radio show.
MACON
The sad truth is that y'all can't rebuild the black community unless white people let you do it.
E/ Nique
The days of whites apologizing for their sins are over. Tss.
MACON
They shouldn’t be, what we need to do is—
TV/Guy
Please, let me be the host here. Let's get back to this idea of apologies. Malcolm X said whites should walk up to blacks on the street and ask forgiveness, but it's never happened.
MACON
Hey that's not a bad idea. What the hell, let's do it. On behalf of the Race Traitor Project and in the name of El Hajj Malik el Shabazz, I hereby declare this Friday to be the first annual Day of Apology. I want white folks to meditate on what it is they're sorry for and then follow Malcolm's advice and walk right up to black folks on the street and say they're sorry.
JACKFRUIT/Andre
Is this on? Yes? Okay- Let me say: I take umbrage at the suggestion that moral, law-abiding white citizens have anything to apologize for!
MACON
The death threats they're going to send me for saying they do will prove it.
E/Nique
You don’t watch it- ill do it myself!
TV/Guy
Annnnnd cut.
Again, the audience claps awkwardly and sound takes us to theme music and to another TV show.
E/ Nique
Man- let me out of this booth so I can talk to this white boy face to face! Listen! If I have to spend my weekend fending off guilty white people hell bent on apologizing to all of Harlem, I'm gonna be super-pissed. Messing up my hair business and shit.
MACON
Relax. Maybe white chicks will start sporting weaves and double your business.
E/ Nique
Kiss my ass. I hope whatever blue-eyed soul brothers you send uptown catch a serious ass-whipping.
MACON
Wow, yeah. I didn't even think of that. That would be fantastic, wouldn't it?
TV/GUY
Welcome to the Fox News Studio. Let’s get right to it--'Day of Apology?' You can't be serious.
MACON
I'm serious as a heart attack, homeboy.
TV/GUY
I have interviewed a lot of loony liberals in my day, but I must say, this is the single most ludicrous,
mush-headed, bleeding-heart idea I have ever heard.
MACON
Yeah, well, I heard your mama got a peg leg with a kickstand.
TV/GUY
And cut. Cut cut cut!
NIQUE
Yes suh! The Day of Apology is on! Macon Detornay says “The bottom line is we aren’t invested-“
The radio continues in the background “Action News Countdown to Day of Apology.”
ANDRE
I'm getting nervous, dude. If this thing's as big as it looks like it's gonna be, we could have a riot on our
hands.
MACON
No comment.
Sound: “Award Tour”
NIQUE
The Race Traitor Project’s press release, detailing the objectives of the Day of Apology, is in newspapers and Op-Ed like a motherfucker.
ANDRE
Macon Detornay’s Day of Apology, the racial apocalypse is now upon us.
MACON
By Thursday I’m cover boy fifteen times over.
NIQUE
When it’s plugged in, the phone rings off the hook.
ANDRE
Red Neck death threats,
NIQUE
Thirteen-year-old punk-rock chicks asking for Macon’s hand in marriage,
MACON
Reporters and more reporters. ‘Mr. Detornay’s views of forestry conservation? The Middle East? Extraterrestrials?’
NIQUE
Fool, Macon Detornay is down with aliens! How you think them Nubian motherfuckers built the pyramids while white folks were still gnawing on pterodactyl wings? Knowledge that.
ANDRE
Newsweek is calling you “The New Face of Hate”.
NIQUE
Teen Steam Magazine answers with “The New Face of Hot.”
ANDRE
There’s so many x-factors. What are crackers gonna say? “I’m sorry for the crimes my people have committed’? ‘Sorry I’m racist’? ‘Sorry about slavery, segregation, church burnings, glass ceilings, Jim Crow and stealing rock n roll’? What?
MACON
I have no idea.
ANDRE
What do you want them to say, dude?
MACON
Anything. Just as long as they acknowledge something.
ANDRE
For all we know folks might get on some personal confession shit. ‘Sorry I called this guy a nigger in a bar fight.’ ‘Sorry I vote Republican and don’t give a shit about hiring practices.’ What do we do then?
MACON
Mmmm. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
ANDRE
That isn’t good enough. You think they asked Oppenheimer what the bomb was gonna do, he was like ‘I guess we’ll have to wait and see?’
MACON
He knew the ingredients. We don’t know shit. And there’s no need to attack me.
ANDRE
Great. Shut down mode.
MACON
That’s how you talk to the – what did they call me on MTV News tonight? That’s how you talk to the Rap Generation’s Answer to Robin Hood?
ANDRE
I’ma say this one more time. If you keep quoting your own press, I’m finding a new roommate. Robin Hood. What a crock. That money went straight from their pockets to yours.
MACON
Suddenly you have a problem with that?
ANDRE
Not at all. What I have a problem with is the suggestion that a middle-class white dude stealing from other middle-class white dudes is somehow redistributing the wealth.
MACON
I would argue that the act of robbing them was, in itself, a revolutionary move.
ANDRE
I’m sure you would.
MACON
Why are you tripping? All I said was –
NIQUE (one ear halfway on the phone this whole time)
All right, all right! Enough already! We’ve been cooped up in here for way too long, we’re tense, we’re out of weed, we smell bad and we need to chill.
MACON
At least robbing people takes some balls. What did you ever do Dre?
ANDRE
Yeah, you’re right Macon – you’re a real hero. I wish I was so brave. Maybe then I wouldn’t bother to think about the consequences of my actions, either. I could leave that to my underlings to handle.
MACON
Look, I never asked for anything from you okay? If you’re tired, jealous, fed up, whatever – fine. I understand. Just bounce. Don’t act like I’m forcing you.
ANDRE
Bounce? There’s thousands of people coming here tomorrow, for this big ass “Day of Apology” that every media outlet is reporting on like it was the damn OJ Bronco ride down the freeway. Macon. I can’t just –
MACON
What? You can’t just what?
ANDRE
Aren’t you worried?
MACON
I’m scared shitless! What do you suggest we do? Huh? Call it off?
ANDRE
I want you to acknowledge that this is some irresponsible shit.
MACON
What good will that do? Okay. It’s some irresponsible shit. Happy?
ANDRE
You’re a dick, dude. You know that?
MACON
I’ve been told.
ANDRE
You’ve been told. Great. What you need to do is apologize.
MACON
That’s what the Day of Apology is for – for folks to apologize.
ANDRE
No. For you to apologize, to me, for real.
MACON
…….
ANDRE
Okay the hell with it then. I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.
MACON
Hey, Dre listen. (offers him a fist) It’s just the stress. I’m sorry man.
ANDRE (looking MACON up and down)
Save it for tomorrow.
ANDRE exits leaving MACON standing alone. MACON crosses to the window and peeks out.
Sound “Friends,” MACON continues to stare out the window until morning.
Sound “Thriller”
NIQUE
Whiteness falls across the land. Cracker Halloween is close at hand. Nothing but white folks in kente cloth suits, dashikis and kufis, Afro wigs and signs reading I’M SORRY and BLACK POWER.
MACON
What have I done?
ANDRE
Where these white people come from? Andromeda?
NIQUE
Close. A little place between California and New York that I like to call America. Come on.
We hear the crowd chanting MACON’S name as we find everybody outside in the melee.
CROWD
SPEECH! SPEECH!
MACON
What's with the costumes?
The crowd murmurs, worried.
CROWD
We wanted to dress black! Those people just have so much spirit!
MACON
You're not black.
The crowd murmurs build.
Look, just be yourselves. The whole idea is to recognize who you are and take responsibility. It's not time to start embracing our inner blackness yet, y'all. Right now, it's about atonement. You don't have cultural permission to dress like this, you understand?
CROWD
Are they going to beat us up?
MACON
No one's going to beat you up. Not that you don't deserve it. Look, you’re here because you recognize the injustice inherent to the system, right.
CROWD
. . .
MACON
Right?
CROWD
Right.
MACON
You’re here to take a tiny first step in the marathon toward change? To say ‘I understand that mah whiteness . . . is o-ppresive.’ You are here . . . to plant your feet and commit . . . to work . . . toward dialogue.
CROWD / Soundscape
Where can we buy our T-Shirts, man?
Will you sign my T-Shirt, maan?
Are there any sweatshirts, maaan?
MACON
Forget the fucking T-Shirts!
CROWD / Soundscape
What about mule-attos? Do they count too?
How do we tell the difference?
What are we supposed to say when we see ‘em?
If I already got my T-Shirt on, am I supposed to take it off?
MACON exits abruptly. Andre rushes forward.
ANDRE
Hi, I’m Andre, Macon’s homeboy. Ok, you can practice on me. Say you’re sorry.
CROWD
We’re sorry!
ANDRE
Thank you. I appreciate that. What are you sorry for?
CROWD
Are they gonna ask us that?
ANDRE
They might. Don’t you know what you’re sorry for?
NIQUE
Imagine you’re walking home late at night and you see me coming down a dark alley right towards you. What’s the first thought that crosses your scared honky minds? Apologize for that. Imagine I work at your job and I get the promotion you’re after. What’s the first thing you think? Apologize for that. Imagine I ring the doorbell to take your daughter to the prom. You get the picture? Are you sorry?
CROWD
Yes!
NIQUE
Say it!
CROWD
We’re sorry!
NIQUE
The hell you are. You crackers don't get it and you never will. Even for white people y'all pathetic. Now line
the hell up and get your $20 T-shirts and then get out there and make your little insignificant gesture you don’t even understand and maybe you’ll learn something. Go!
CROWD disperses.
MACON (banging his head against the wall)
What – the – ? What the hell?
NIQUE
What you expect? A bunch of die-for-the-cause radicals?
MACON
Malcolm never said what black people’s response should be when white folks start apologizing.
NIQUE
It was a rhetorical statement. Don’t you dare try to pretend you didn’t know that.
MACON
This is gonna be a disaster isn’t it?
NIQUE
Hell yeah. Question is how we’re gonna spin it.
MACON
You think they’ll show up for the rally?
NIQUE
To kick your ass if nothing else. When black folks start rebuffing their ever-so-sincere attempts to shoulder the burden, crackers gonna want some get back.
ANDRE
Maybe productive exchanges are taking place in office buildings and on stoops throughout the city.
MACON
You think?
ANDRE
Naw, but it’s possible.
NIQUE
Not really.
The following are all voices spoken into the mics as Macon stands visualizing it all:
NIQUE
The corporate offices of RODERICK, STERN & SONS ATTORNEYS AT LAW:
RODERICK/GUY
Sit down, Bob. This won't take long. Bob, I want to know... do I... do we... do I owe you some sort of an
apology? Are we...
DAYTON/ANDRE
No sir. No sir. No sir.
RODERICK
Ah. Good. Well then. Thank you, Bob. We really must get together for a drink one of these days. You're doing fine work, Bob, fine work. Thank you.
DAYTON/Andre
No, thank you. (offstage) Fuck this!!!
NIQUE
In Bryant Park:
Two black teens, FRANKIE and MARIO, approach an effete WHITE CORPORATE MAN.
FRANKIE/NIQUE
You got something to say to us?
CORPORATE MAN/GUY
Huh?
MARIO/ANDRE
Don't you want to apologize and shit?
CORPORATE MAN/GUY
For what? What did I do?
MARIO/ANDRE
Man, ain't you watch the news? You s'posed to apologize for oppressing my black ass. Whussup?
CORPORATE MAN/GUY
Um, sorry, I guess.
FRANKIE/ NIQUE
You gonna eat that pickle? I demand that pickle as reparations. Whussup?
MARIO/ANDRE
Word. Now sit here and consider your crimes.
ANDRE
Wall Street. In an Office Cubicle:
GRAY/GUY
This whole Day of Apology thing is silly, isn't it? I mean, we're best friends. Our kids play every weekend,
we eat lunch together every day. We're practically the same person.
C/ANDRE
My grandfather's brother was lynched. My great-uncle Joseph. Was anyone in your family ever lynched?
GRAY/GUY
No. But nobody in my family ever lynched somebody, either.
C/ANDRE
Anybody in your family ever stop a lynching?
GRAY/GUY
Are you mad at me?
C/ANDRE
Why should I be mad at you?
GRAY/GUY
Do you want me to apologize?
C/ANDRE
I don't know. I don't want you to, but I don't want you not to either. I feel so silly. I'm sorry.
GRAY/GUY
It's okay. I’m sorry. It's okay.
NIQUE
Outside Columbia University. Heading toward Harlem:
MACON
Let’s hit the street.
Macon alone. Two voices surround him.
JERSEY/ANDRE
Here to say you're sorry?
MACON
Just taking a walk.
JERSEY/ANDRE
You ain't gonna apologize, Macon?
MACON
Didn't think you recognized me.
ALI/ NIQUE
Shoot, we your biggest fans. I’m Ali, this Jersey.
JERSEY/ANDRE
And I quote: “white people owe a debt, and we should be giving back before the people we owe start taking back.”
ALI/NIQUE
Brilliant / Trenchant / Mufuckin' portentous, dog.
JERSEY/ANDRE
So what will you be giving back today? (beat) Let's start with your wallet. I see you ain't wearing a necktie, thus frustrating my efforts at poetic justice.
ALI/NIQUE
That was slick, right, how you took them cats' neckties. I'll take those Tims, though.
MACON
I'm afraid I can't do that.
JERSEY/ANDRE
You better run yo' shit. Word up, don’t be ice-grilling me.
Macon lifts his shirt and his gun backs everybody up.
MACON
It's really a question of priorities. See, if you beat me down, I'm out of the game at a pretty crucial moment.
So while I may appear to be contradicting myself, it's all for the cause. Not everyone's a foot soldier. The extent to which a beatdown would expand my consciousness is insignificant, I promise you.
JERSEY/ANDRE
I can see that.
MACON
I appreciate the thought, though. You gentlemen enjoy your day… of apology.
They split, the voices disperse.
Holy shit…
Shots ring out and all three drop to the ground. We hear the shooter’s voice.
ASSASSIN/ GUY
Nigger lover! Why don't you come out and make me apologize, nigger-lover?
They run through the streets. SOUNDSCAPE that represents the chaos of the riot. We see the shadows of ANDRE and GUY moving thru the melee, representing black men cracking mirrors with their fists, white men getting jumped in parks, and the total uncontrollable chaos of the city. We hear:
Stay back! Stay back! If you do not disperse, you will all be arrested!/
He had a gun! He killed her!/
He's dead! You animals killed him!/
(Black rioter:) They came here and spit in our faces!/
(White rioter:) We came here in good faith and they spit in our faces!/
Lights reveal MACON as he paces back and forth.
MACON
Cap. Cap. Cap Anson.
(he stops, looks up to the sky then quickly squats to the pavement)
You proud of me now, fucko! Family line’s a noose, huh? Hot enough for you down there?
ANDRE has entered and stands watching MACON. MACON sees ANDRE.
Just hollering at my red neck ancestors.
NEWSREPORTER/ Guy
In Brownsville cops just arrested three white men and seized rifles, machetes and chainsaws . . . an aborted hate crime. Off-duty cops have been asked to report to beef up protection.
MACON
Wonderful. Apologizers with police escorts.
The streets get hot. We hear the sound of helicopters in the sky. MACON is following their path.
ANDRE
You got to do something!
MACON
Me? What can I do?
ANDRE
Get on TV. Call for calm. Tell folks to chill before they end up homeless and in jail.
MACON
What the hell you mean ‘call for calm?’ I ain’t going out like King Junior.
Sound of choppers overhead and flood lights roaming.
ANDRE
You gotta say something. They gonna blame this all on you.
MACON
As well they should.
ANDRE
Well, say that then. Apologize. Do anything. Nique, gimme the phone. (into phone) Yolanda, hey sugar, Andre Walker. Listen, I’m here with Macon on One Twenty-fifth and Lenox and I need a live feed. I want him on that big ass TV screen in Times Square. He’s gonna talk to the people. Can you do it? Yeah of course you’re first reporter I called. Five minutes? Word.
NIQUE
Blackness as a state of mind is bullshit. This kid possessing rare insight is ridiculous. It’s semantic crap and everyone involved knows it and pimps it. (spinning on MACON) Welcome to ground zero. The moment we find out how black you are. Whether you gon’ give your life for the cause. Here we are, Moves. You know as well as I do that from here on out it’s black people that are gonna die today. National Guard, pigs, you know who they’re gunning for. Dre told you to call for calm and you said no without even thinking about it. You think it’s a game.
ANDRE
Come on Nique. It’s not Macon’s fault.
NIQUE
Oh no? Whose fault is it? Massa Lincoln? Cecil B. DeMille?
MACON
I already said so, what more do you want?
NIQUE
See? See? Here he comes with that ol ‘If I take the blame, nobody can say shit’ shit. The best offense is to pretend to forfeit. What can black folks say to an apology? All they can do is feel stupid because there’s no way to respond. It’s the most brilliant mindfuck the white man has conceived of in a hot minute, that’s for damn sure. If you knew what you were getting into, you never would have done it to begin with. Say I’m wrong.
MACON
I didn’t –
NIQUE (advancing on MACON)
You know what I want from you, Moves? You know what would really mean something?
ANDRE tries to stop NIQUE.
You crazy? Get off me, nigga. I ain’t gonna hit him. Here’s what you do Moves. Grab that gun sitting next to your dick and apologize by blowing out your brains. That’s what I wanna see. That’s a whiteboy who ain’t going home when shit gets thick. Kill off the latest, greatest new black leader. With his last ounce of strength Macon Detornay gives up on white folks and eats lead. Dies by the gun just like a real authentic nigga. Word up. Ratings soar and millions mourn the martyr.
MACON
If I give up on white people you’re in more trouble than I am, Dominique. You’re right smack in front of a pissed-off devil with a gun.
ANDRE
Okay, enough with the Mexican standoff. Both of you apologize. We got a press conference.
MACON uncocks the gun.
NIQUE
I’m gonna die black with or without you. You think I give a fuck?
NIQUE nods at MACON’S gun. He brings his forefinger to his head and pulls the trigger.
REPORTER enters.
REPORTER / Guy
The rioting has moved east now, further into Harlem, as the Day of Apology takes a drastic turn toward disaster. With me now is Day of Apology leader Macon Detornay. What do you want to tell the people?
MACON
I’m giving up. This whole thing was mistake. Power doesn’t have the power to change, only to self-destruct. If you wanna make a difference, kill yourself.
MACON shoves the barrel of the gun into his mouth. He stares at the camera then closes his eyes and immediately takes it out of his mouth.
I can’t do it. I’m just as full of it as all of you. The truth is that I’m not willing to die, for justice or for anything. I’d apologize but I wouldn’t believe myself. I’m out. Turn that camera off! (pointing his gun) Cameraman--Gimme the keys to your van, homeboy. (to NIQUE) You’re right.
NIQUE
Wish I wasn’t.
MACON(to ANDRE)
Sorry bout the bail money.
ANDRE
But not sorry enough.
MACON
Obviously not.
MACON takes off, we hear the sound of screeching tires.
NIQUE
Stay black and die.
Sound: “Can’t Keep Running Away”
Epilogue
RACE
Lights rise on FLEET with a bat in his hand. ANSON/MACON watches.
FLEET
I stand at home plate and watch the ball as it clears the fence. I stare at the crowd and for the briefest of instants I feel like I won. It’s over. Is this the moment? I start running to first. The crowd remains hushed. As I get to first- Anson turns his back and walks off the field.
RED
The crowd erupts.
ANDRE
Throwing garbage and debribs at Fleet-
FLEET
--As I round the bases.
ANDRE
Everyone was poised for something; this was the moment when crowds turned to mobs—
RED
Let’s get the hell out of here!
RED grabs FLEET and they exit the stadium onto the streets.
Fleet- you’d better run. They’re gonna double back here quick and we won’t be able to hold them off. You can hop the train before they catch you. Go!
We hear the sound of a militia as it comes around the corner led by ANSON. FLEET takes off running. RED scoops a heavy gob of his greasepaint into his hand and rubs it all over his face.
RED
I, Red Donner- I am blacker than Fleet Walker now! And those sons of bitches will have to choose which one of us to chase!
RED takes off in a different direction, which confuses ANSON and the mob. They don’t know who to go after. FLEET crosses the train tracks and hoists himself onto a cargo car. ANSON goes after RED, stabs him to death as FLEET gets away on the car. ANSON transforms back into MACON.
FLEET/NIQUE
As I ran I pray for a few more seconds of invisibility, knowing any moment they would spot the dust my
cleats kicked up. I pray for a train, for speed; absurdly, I even pray for justice. And suddenly, they
see me; I hear the cry of recognition and the heavy pounding of boots as they break into chase… I cross the train tracks and hoist myself onto a cargo car.
RED/Guy
And Red Donner.
ANDRE
They caught him first and didn't check too hard to make sure he was the man they wanted, or maybe they just didn't care. They stomped him to the ground and sliced him up, left him to die.
RED/Guy
I’m blacker than Fleet Walker now.
MACON
I was a fourteen-year-old whiteboy in a Malcolm X T-shirt…
FLEET/(MACON)
I was gone. (I am gone.)
ANDRE/(MACON)
Nowhere to be found (nowhere to be found), and never seen again…
MACON
Never to be seen again…The time is now.
ANDRE
So what you gonna do now, nigga?
FLEET
So what you gonna do then, nigga?
MACON
Accept who I am. Stop trying to be down. Learn not give a fuck like all these other white folks out here?
FLEET
I suppose we should be thankful that even as America pretends to advance we are still provided with regular
displays of brutal honesty. We should be grateful, on some level, for the gruesome spectacle of lynchings.
I've dashed from mobs of white folks. Raced against low throws on a line from right field to home plate and after trains gathering speed in the deep South, run for my life and for my livelihood.
MACON
I did, I tried, and now, it’s up to you all, you try, I’m joining my ancestors. Nothing is so exhausting as trying to sprint past your own shadow.
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