Cyber-Assignment Chapter 8 Due: October 8, 2013
For chapter 8, "As a Result" Connecting the Parts (105) chose an essay from 50 Essays,
one assigned yet not discussed to respond to Exercise 2. You will not
be able to underline the way the writer connects the parts. Analyze in a
short essay (100-250 words).
Again, respond to a classmate's post with a response that expands his or her concept. Since the essay is from 50 Essays one of the essays assigned, but not read, you have the material as well.
We will review Exercise 1 in class when I return. Just annotate it (119).
Again, respond to a classmate's post with a response that expands his or her concept. Since the essay is from 50 Essays one of the essays assigned, but not read, you have the material as well.
We will review Exercise 1 in class when I return. Just annotate it (119).
posted by Professor Wanda's Posse at 9:11 AM
38 Comments:
Denise Burgara
Professor Sabir
English 1A, 11-11:50
8 October 2013
They say Ch. 8
Print with voice
2) As I read and analyzed, “Shooting Dad” by Sarah Vowell in “50 essays”, I was specifically searching for, transitions, pointing terms, key terms, and repetition as asked for in “They say, I say” chapter 8. This short essay, originally a radio essay, has a distinct quality on how the writer wrote it, it definitely has a voice, and the great choice of words and the combination creates a beautiful rhythm. This short story was about Vowell as a young child growing up and not in favor much with her father’s choices. Her father loved guns, while she did not. At the end she was able to understand him more and even ended up coincide with him. In the first paragraph in page 412, the author writes,”…Democratic campaign poster in the upstairs window and the republican one in the downstairs window…” this shows opposing sides and can be considered “repeating key terms/phrases”. As for a transition, I found in page 413 where the author writes, “Dad and I started bickering in earnest when I was fourteen”, Vowell writes this at the beginning of her new paragraph and transitions from writing about an incident she had encountered way before fourteen years old. After this paragraph she begins another paragraph transitioning to “Nowadays”. “It has been my experience”, another transition phrase on page 414. I found a repetition also on page 414, “…but the fact is, I have only shot a gun once and once was plenty”, giving us the idea that she wanted to do nothing what so ever with guns, she had to interest in them. “My sister on the other hand…”, another great transition the author writes. Overall I found more transition words and phrases but there were nice amounts of key terms and repetition as well.
Angel Vargas
Professor Sabir
English 1A 8-8:50
8 October, 2013
They Say Ch. 8
1) In the first paragraph author George Orwell uses ‘for this reason’, a pointing word to describe what he calls the first in the line of importance in a coal mine. Again he uses another pointer in the following paragraph to reassure the idea of what he had previously stated should be noted. On the following sentence he uses a transition word used to show an example of something, for instance going on a Sunday when things are peaceful. He then goes on to say ‘or at any rate’ which is another example of a transition and he uses to further elaborate what he himself considers to be hell. Author George Orwell repeats himself in stating that getting there, to the mine, is no easy task, as he goes on to describe in different ways the hardships one must endure to reach the mine where they are actually working.
Kimberly Young
Professor Sabir
English 1A, 8:00-8:50 am
8 October 2013
“They Say/I Say” Chapter 8
2) In the article, “Don't Blame the Eater” by David Zinczenko, I noticed that he uses a good variety transitional phrases such as for example, not surprisingly, and exactly. Those phrases were helpful in helping to direct the readers in one way or the other. When Zinczenko uses not suprisingly, the readers know right away that he is telling us something that is not what he or the reader would expect. He uses the transitional phrases in his writing multiple of times. While experimenting, I pulled out the transitional words and read the article again, the article didn't run as smooth. The transitional phrases help to guide the reader in the writing and make the paper more complete. For my personal favorite, I like to use for example a lot. I think it is a good way to introduce an example, but sometimes it can get boring if you use it more than two times in an essay.
Ariana Yu
Professor Sabir
English 1A, 8:00-8:50AM
8 October 2013
They Say/ I Say Response (Pg. 119-120)
In “Learning to Read and Write,” by Frederick Douglass, Douglass uses many transitional phrases, which make the writing smooth and easy to read. One transition word Douglass uses is “besides”. This word helps readers understand that the text is adding something to the sentence. Douglass also uses many transitional phrases for contrast, such as “nevertheless.” This lets the readers know that the opposite point of view is stated. The most important transitional phrase that Douglass used, in my opinion, is “From this time.” By using this, he is able to establish a time frame in the essay, which doesn’t confuse the reader. In addition to this, Douglass uses many pointing terms. The word “she” throughout one whole paragraph clearly refers to his mistress.
Kaleb L. Beyene
Professor Wanda Sabir
English 1A 11-11:50
8 October 2013
Assignment on Chapter 8 of They say
I read an essay called “shooting dad” from 50 essays by Sarah Vowell(Samuel Cohen, 50 Essays, 3rd Edition, Bedford, 412-419.) Generally the essay talks about Sarah’s childhood and her family.
The flow of all paragraphs was so coherent and the way she link her ideas in consecutive paragraphs seems perfect to me. In that essay Sarah used all methods that listed in chapter 8 to connect her sentences in the passage.
In first paragraph of page 415, we can see when she use a transition word “and”. She connected her arguments by saying, “…and, because I believed in the devil, I did what mother told me to do every time I felt an evil presence.” On the 4th paragraph of page 416 also we see when she use same transitional word. In chapter 8 this kind of technique is called as connecting by using transition.
Furthermore, on the third paragraph of page 414 also she use the technique of connecting by repeating key terms and phrases to introduce her twin sister. She did that by saying, “my twin sister, Amy, and I… .”
Sarah also used the system of connecting by using pointing words. She used this on the first paragraph of page 417 by saying, “…this was my chance.”
Mainly on the Sarah’s essay we get the technique of connecting by transition words like and, or and the like. I think the way she put her story is so smooth and easy to understand. So I don’t have nothing to criticize and modify.
Patrick Yu
Professor Sabir
English 1A 11-11:50
8 October 2013
They Say / I Say Ch.8
In Sherman Alexie's "The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me", Alexie makes very good connections between each of his sentences. The whole passage has a good flow to it because of his use of pointing words and repeat in key terms and phrases. In page 17, he explains "We were Indian children who were expected to be stupid." He then expands on the idea, stating that although Indian children struggle academically, they were more intellectually sophisticated than non-Indian children. He ends the paragraph with "As Indian children, we expected to fail in the non-Indian world. Those who failed were ceremonially accepted by other Indians and appropriately pitted by non-Indians." This really shows the reader the kind of double standard life that Indian children had to endure.
Tiffany Gregory
Professor Sabir
English 1A, 11-11:50
8 October 2013
They say Ch.8
Print with voice
2) In the article, “The Joy of Reading and Writing” by Sherman Alexie I noticed and understood many transitional phrases, which made the writing authentic and basically easy and fun to read. One transition word Alexie uses is simple enough, this tells the readers that it may seem complicated at first glance but it is a very simple situation, that helps the reader understand that if it seems like one thing then that’s what it must be. This writer lets the audience know that he knows his place in society but will try to challenge that by going and doing what’s outside the norm. He is an Indian boy who would be assumed as a dumb boy because his culture chooses to act dumb but he wants to be seen as someone different. Someone smart. He wants to lead by example not fail by choosing to follow bad ones. Unfortunately I don’t have anything to criticize about this particular selection.
In response to Ariana Yu I would just like to add the fact that Fredrick Douglass in my opinion knew what he was doing when he was born into slavery. As a child he obeyed and stayed on their good sides and in return was taught to read. But upon being shunned he understood that there may be another way, this keeps the article full of not just suspense but surprise. I completely agree however to what Ariana said as well, I think she put it in very plain and understandable terms.
Christian Logan
Professor Sabir
English 1a 11-1150
7 October 2013
They say/i say ch. 8
After re-reading Gloria Anzaldua’s “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” I found excellent use of the types of transitions, pointing words, and repetition covered in chapter 8 of “They Say/ I Say”. She starts several sentences with “I remember...” a transitions word that indicates she will be providing an example from her own experiences. She starts another sentence with the word “Even our own people”, which is like saying “in addition to”, also serving as a transition. She uses a variety of pointing words such as, he, she their, these, that, and it. Anzaldua’s repetitive use of key words and phrases helps her get her point across much more effectively. She repeats the phrase “We’re going to have to something about your tongue.” This little phrase basically summarizes what her essay is about, which is how she has been led to believe that she needs to stop speaking Spanish and use only English in this country.
Hugo Saavedra
Professor Wanda Sabir
English 1A, 11:00-11:50
8 October 2013
They Say/I Say Chapter 8
In reading Brent Staples’ essay “Just Walk on By: Black Men and Public Space”, I was struck by how much of his prose did not include the transitions recommended in “They Say / I Say”, opting for the more sophisticated pointing words. However, he uses these transitions well: his sentences are unambiguous, so there is never any doubt as to what is being referred to. Another technique he deploys which went unmentioned in the text was to open a sentence with “and” – a move that is traditionally frowned upon. However, in taking this liberty, he unmistakably links the final paragraph with what is said in the previous paragraph.
Christian,
I don't think that Andalzua was led to believe that at all, but rather she was remarking on the enormous cultural pressures and the cultural weight of Spanish language (and its various forms, levels of diction, and unions with other languages) in American culture.
Tiffany,
Thanks for pointing out the use of "Simple enough" as a transitional phrase - that is something I would not have noticed otherwise. However, I object to the analysis in the latter part of that paragraph. Alexie goes to great lengths in the essay to explain that Indian people are forced to contend with impossible conditions and the expectation that will be failures, and that both are imposed upon them by white culture (which pressures the culture on the reservation to discourage "white" forms of intelligence). In other words, I don't agree with how you refer to native people who discourage Alexie's literacy to be "the bad ones" - in fact Alexie is careful to not blame them in the text likely for the reason that he understood non-natives would comprise much of his audience, and that blaming them would fuel white perceptions of native people as being willfully dumb and illiterate, which is more or less what I feel your post implies.
Chris Lee
Professor Sabir
English 1A
11-11:50
They Say I Say Chapter 8
2. In “50 Essays”, I chose the essay “Two Ways to Belong in America” by Bharati Mukherjee. In Mukherjee essay there isn’t many uses of transitioning or the use of pointing words in her essay that I can see or notice, yet the ones that I can spot in her essay are simple words such as this and however. As you read her essay though its not that hard to understand what she is trying to say because she is just telling a story of how to belong in America in her and her sister point of view, which is the two ways to belong.
Michael Cunningham
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10-10:50
8 October 2013
They Say Ch. 8 Ex.2
The essay that I chose to write about from 50 Essays was “The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me”, by Sherman Alexie. In this essay Sherman Alexie used transitions, key terms, pointing terms, and repetition of words. Alexie used the key terms: I, comic books, Spokane, books, paragraphs Indian, Indian boy, Non-Indians. Alexie also used repletion of the phrase I read, and they are. The key terms that Alexie used the most were books, paragraphs, and Non-Indians. Alexie also made sure that he got in his pointing terms: that, this, he, and those. Alexie used the transitions words in his essay to but mainly used and as his transition. Overall, Alexie did a good job fitting in transitions, key terms, pointing terms, and repetition of words.
In response to Ariana Yu, who used the essay by Frederick Douglass, “Learning to Read and Write” I feel that she did a good job stating the transitional phrases. She stated that three different examples which were besides, nevertheless, and she. I went back to 50 Essays and read over the Frederick Douglass essay and the transitional phrases that she used were great examples from the essay good job Ariana.
Huy Vo
Professor Wanda
English 1A, 11-11:50 pm
October 8, 2013
They Say I Say
They Say I Say Chapter 8
Learning to Read and Write by Frederick Douglas is a perfect example of the different methods of “connecting the parts” talked about in Chapter 8. The first thing I notice while I was reading the essay is the usage of “repeating key terms and phrases” such as education, slavery, and freedom. These terms extracted from the text gives a solid sense of the topic. In addition, the essay hold fluidity because the transitions words are put into the background of the text. The transition words connected sentences and paragraphs into a tightly neat package. Each topic sentence are true of the entire paragraphs. Lastly, from the techniques mentioned in chapter 8, Douglas repeated the theme of literacy and freedom by means of different example like how he mentions his reading and what he got out of it; or how he used to copy his master’s copy-book.. It makes an impact due to the refinement of his essay; it’s clear that Douglas was an intelligent man. As a result, it conveys a solid message.
Anita Madden
Professor Sabir
English 1A 11-11:50
8 october 2013
They Say chapter 8
The story I choose to analyze in the 50 essays book was “Shooting Dad” by Sarah Vowell. The essay is about a family mainly about a father and daughter relationship. The father is a gunsmith and has a passion for guns. The daughter on the other hand doesn’t care to much or like the ideas of guns. She also has a twin sister who has taken a liking to guns and shares more of a bond with her father. The older she got the more interested she became wanting to be his daughter. That me symbolize some type of closure for her because her and her father can never see eye to eye when it came to controversy topics. She was able to think outside the box and notice that her and her father were almost alike it just took some deeper searching and time. This story uses a transition phrase such as “so too” when she says, “Its just really, really cool. My dad thought so, too” pg 417.
Melon Yemane
Professor Sabir
English 1A 11-11:50
8 October 2013
They Say / I Say Ch.8
The essay I choose to analyze for this assignment was "Shooting Dad" by Sarah Vowell on page 412-419. There were of course the right amount of transitional words. I would be quick to assume if you are a professional writer/ author then you know your way around words and know more than the simple transitional key phrases like "For example,..." Mrs. Vowell uses "Somehow, that picture..." on page 413 paragraph two instead of the listed "as an illustration" in "They Say" but she does use the transitional transitions such as also but mainly she ended paragraphs introducing her next designed thought. Like... the second paragraph on page 416 "They left fresh baked bread with cyanide in it..." Then introducing the third paragraph with "Because my father..." as if she didn't get to answer why they left fresh bread.
Milin Khunkhun
Professor Sabir
English 1A (10-10:50)
8 October 2013
They Say I Say Ch. 8 Ex. 2
2. In 50 Essays, I choice the story "Shooting Dad" by Sarah Vowell. This essay is about the author and her father not agreeing with many political issues and guns. She prefers not to have a gun or even use it while her father is obsessed with them. They do not get along when it comes to Election Day and they do not agree with each other’s interests. But, as the story builds up, the author explains how she realizes that her and her father do have a similarity of being "smart-alecky loners with goofy projects and weird equipment" (Vowell 418). Vowell realized this when her father had a build a cannon and they both fired it with the amazing sound from the cannon banging on their ears. She and him both loved the loud noise of the cannon and its intensity. The author very carefully transitions well in her essay with transition words and sentences that flow to the next. She also very well transitions from explaining the many differences with her father to the similarities in a way where the reader can fully understand her realization she made about her and her father.
Response:
In response to Denise Burgara, I fully agree with the author transitions as if it is in a rhythm. The author has this flow where the reader can imagine what she describes especially with her choice of words. The author utilizes the importance of transitions especially when talking about how she does have a similarity with her dad. This allows the reader to have the same emotional change that the author went through as she later describes it.
Isabel Grande
Professor Sabir
English 1A 8-8:59 AM
8 October 2013
They Say Chap. 8
Does anyone have an idea on how to post a paste of a scanned doc.. I created a doc. with scanned copies for my exercises, I then, proceeded to copy and paste it to the blog, but the paste for the scanned parts would not show up. I have no idea why. Can anyone help me with this?
Thank you


Evan Hill
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10-10:50
8 October 2013
They Say Chapter 8
2. The essay I chose to respond to was "Shooting Dad" by Sarah Vowell. In this essay, Vowell mentions her childhood and and how her and her father's hobbies clashed during that period of her life.
There are many places where Vowell could have used connecting phrases but chose not to do so. This could have been a stylistic choice, however, for the sake of this response I'll focus on a couple of the many areas where she did and did not. Throughout the essay, it is more common that she does not use connecting phrases. For example, on page 417, paragraph 2 when she says, "I called Dad and said that I wanted to come to Montana and watch him shoot off the cannon. He was immediately suspicious. But I had never taken much interest in his work before and he would take what he could get." In this example, it is plain to see that she could have easily used the word "but" as a way to connect the two sentences, however, she chose not too.
It's not as if she did not use connecting phrases. On page 416 at the top of the page she says, "The barrel of the original has been filled with concrete ever since some high school kids in the '50s pointed it at the school across the street and shot out its windows one night as a prank." She could have broken that sentence into two separate sentences, taking out "and" in the process, but she connected them showing that she indeed does have skill in that area, but that perhaps she was going for personal style over academic skill. Or perhaps it's because this was adapted from the radio that it's formatted in this way.
In response to Milin, I agree that when Vowell does use transitions, she does quite a good job of it. Everything flows nicely, as if it were speech and not writing. But it was adapted from a radio version so that's probably why it paints such a vivid picture.
lesnea bouthavong
English 1A 11-11:50
Professor Sabir
October 7, 2013
As I analytically read Malcom X on page 257 in the 50 essay book, I found that his writing was easy to read because he connects his sentences well. Although, I don't see repetitions in his writing however, I do see good transitional words and phrases in his sentences. In his sentences, he used pointing words such as the sentences on page 262. Malcom X wrote,"I never will forget how shocked I was when I began reading about slavery's total horror. It made such an impact upon me that it later became one of my favorite subjects when I became a minister of Mr. Muhammad's." The pointing word "it," was carefully used in his sentences. To avoid ambiguous passage to readers, he made his object clear. The word "it," used in a sentences is dangerous to insert in most readers' sentences because it can easily confuse readers as a result of many interpretations or meanings to the sentences, but he managed to pull that off by using a clearly defined object and simply connecting his sentences.
Samantha Gober
Professor Sabir
English 1A 8-8:50
8 October 2013
Ch. 8 Ex. 2 They Say
In the essay Just Walk on By: Black Men and Public Space, the author, Brent Staples has excellent transitions from one paragraph to the next. His sentence flow is just as outstanding. He used phrases such as “over the years” and “that was more than a decade ago” to lead into following paragraphs. This made the essay coherent to readers.
Staples starts off by telling us about the vibe others would get in his presence as if he intended to harm them. This made him feel very uncomfortable in public. Just because Staples was a young black male, women in particular were frightened when they saw him walking down the street at night and they were alone. He was mistaken for a burglar, rapist, and murderer. All of these assumptions were far from the truth. The young man actually goes as far as calling himself a “softie” and he avoided confrontation.
Staples then proceeds to tell tales of other blacks who had gone through the same situation. It was potentially harmful to those who were thought to be burglars, rapists, or even murderers because people would jump to conclusions and draw weapons on the spot if you made the slightest movement that caught someone off guard. The stereotype that criminals in the past passed on to young black males haunt those who are actually good people, but have been labeled by society as a threat.
Samantha Gober
Professor Sabir
English 1A 8-8:50
8 October 2013
In response to Milin's post, I also believe the author did a good job transitioning from one paragraph to the next and creating a flow. The author gives an in depth insight of the relationship between a father and daughter. It shows a clear transition from the disagreements early on that the two experience to them finally seeing eye to eye. It's almost as if you can put yourself in their shoes. That's exactly what an author should do to give coherence to the audience.
Ivon Pena
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10:00am-10:50am
8 October 2013
They say/ I say chapter.8
The essay I choose from 50 essays is “The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me”, Two transitions that I found occurring too much in my Evaluation Essay were “but” and “this”. These two words came off as powerfully repetitive and often seemed to devalue positions. In some occasions the words as transitions worked, unfortunately looking back over this paper I can see plenty of opportunities when both of these words could have been replaced with a more refined style of speak. I feel as if the repetition of specific words is a re occurring theme in many of my papers. It is less an issue of too many transitions, but rather individual ones that are used too often in the same area of simply in the same paper. In order to power a stronger argument, create a more coherent standing and overall improve my writing style I feel like exploring other transitions or simply an entirely new way of writing all together would come in handy.
Sophia Preach
Professor Sabir
English 1A (10:00-10:50)
8 October 2013
Chapter 8 They Say/ I Say
Exercise 2
"On Being a Cripple" Nancy Mairs
In "On Being a Cripple" by Nancy Mairs, there is some deliberate repetition, one instance of this is when she is talking about her illness that causes her to be a cripple, multiple sclerosis. She used repetition to explain how she feels about living with MS, she repeats the word "disease" to explain how she deals with the self-loathing of being sick, she explains that she doesn't hate her self but she hates her disease, and she explains how she must differentiate herself from her illness.
The author also uses the term "cripple" to define her self and uses the word frequently to reinforce the fact that she identifies with the word. To explain her connection to this word she gives her take on the connotations of terms such as "disabled" or "handicapped" and explains why she prefers to call herself a cripple.
In response to Evan, it is interesting how you pointed out that that author does not use connecting phrase in places where she could have. I think that the point you made about this being a stylistic choice is important because in writing it can be more beneficial to develop a personal flair rather than just sticking to the same old rules.
Rebeca Gonzalez
Professor Sabir
English 1A
October 8, 2013
They Say Ch.8 ex.2
2. In 50 Essays, I chose the speech Sojourner Truth gave in 1851 at women’s rights convention titled, “Ain’t I a Woman?” While reading and analyzing this speech I noticed that Sojourner did have a pattern by comparing certain things that men do that woman can do also. She explained how woman could also do greater things than what men can do. This speech was really inspirational to me because woman always get treated as weak individuals, when we aren’t. We can do the same amount of things that men can and we can actually do even more, just how Sojourner said in her speech, women give birth to their children and raise them. Men always feel more superior to women but it shouldn’t be like that. If women weren’t on this earth men would be nothing, just how Christ came from god and a woman, every single man on earth came from a woman. Therefor, Women deserve more rights and better treatment than what we get. Sojourner does use pointing terms in her speech as well as transitions because she clearly lets us know exactly what her purpose is and she transitions to every different point flowingly.
Response:
In response to Evan Hill, I agree that Sarah Vowell doesn’t use connecting phrases like she probably could have. But when she did use connecting phrases it was more smooth which made her story seem more natural.
lesnea bouthavong
English 1A 11-11:50am
Professor Sabir
10-07-13
My response to Anita Madden:
I agree with your summary but with the transitions you found on your reading, you did not describe your experience to annotate if there are any passages that are easy or hard to follow.
Lawrence Cheung
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10:00-10:50AM
8 Oct 2013
Chapter 8 They Say, I Say
2)
"Serving in Florida", an excerpt from the book Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich, was a piece with interesting and various forms of language and writing "devices". Pointing terms are important in this reading, because she has very specific incidents that she discusses and writes about that lead up to a bigger conclusion. For example, on one page, she starts out with the topic subject for the first sentence. She grows into personal examples, where she addresses the reader as "you" to point out an example. She uses some 2nd person speech. But it is used precisely, not informally, but to create a out-reaching example. This passage relies on referring to personal ponderings, but it works, and is an essential part of the ideal of the piece itself.
Derek Oyama
English 1A 11-11:50
Professor Sabir
10-8-13
They Say I Say Chapter Eight, 2
In the essay Shooting Dad Sarah Vowell uses a consistent, almost conversational tone, very effectively in statements like "I tended to daydream through Dad's activities" or "when I blow what used to be my dad into the earth I want it to hurt." both times making it clear what she refers to and by making the points very clear with a continued I leaving no doubt to whom she refers in her story-like essay. It is very easy to understand her essay with the repeating references to I or Dad and the few times she she refers to her sister every time an event is noted.
To Melon Yemane
I completely agree that she does not use simple transitional phrases and that it is quite strange when written, i think that the formatting of the essay was less for grammatical correctness and more for not having an ugly/harder to read wall of text
Mervin Deguzman
Prof. Wanda Sabir
English 1A 0800-0850
8 Oct 2013
Ex. 2 Chapter 8 They Say/I Say pg. 120
2. I reread the short essay "Learning to Read" by Malcolm X and found that he had used transitions and made the article interesting and really know more about what he had done to acquire such great writing skills from; he wrote this on a first person view. A great example where he used transition from was in pg. 258 paragraph ten where he talked about reading the words in the dictionary and defining what the words he read meant, "Moreover, with a little effort I also could remember what many of these words meant". He then went on to discussing how he became the person he was before to the person he became when he was in prison. He became literate and became one of the activists in the year of segregation. I also noticed that he didn't use very many pointing words to this essay but still made very good points about the topic being discussed which is segregation. This essay was more of a biography and although there was insufficient use of pointing words, it was still a great essay to read and really know more about Malcolm X and what made him a great activist along with Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr.
Mussa Obad
Wanda Sabir
English 1A (11-11:50)
10/8/13
Chapter 8 They Say, I Say
In 50 Essays, I chose “Learning to Read” by Malcolm X. In this essay I notice that the words used in this essay were used in a very strong context. I as a reader, was able to feel the words meaning because of its use. For example, in the text it states, “In my slow, painstaking, ragged handwriting, I copied into my tablet everything on that first page, down to the punctuation marks.” I could feel the fatigue and struggle Malcolm had to face through those words. I also noticed a pattern in this essay. It seemed that the more he learned, the more free he felt. The pattern is the increased knowledge he is obtaining.
My response:
In response to Kimberly, I would like to add on the importance of transitional phrases. I also want to add on and say that transitional phrases serve as a connector in evidence that is being used. “Such as”, “For example”, both serve as vital transitional phrases and can help writing be more clear and concise.
Saleena Carpenter
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10-10:50am
8 October 2013
They Say I Say Ch.8 Exercise 2
2)I chose to respond to "No Name Woman" by Maxine Hong Kingston in this essay she illustrates the place of traditional Chinese women an the difficulty and struggle being Chinese-American.
Kingston uses connecting phrases throughout her essay but there are numerous times she could connect sentences but does not. For example she writes," They ripped up her clothes and shoes and broke her combs, grinding them underfoot. They tore her work from the loom (222)". There was multiple way she could have connected these two sentences but she has her on style of writing that causes you to ponder after reading even brief sentences. In other words, I believe her writing is very powerful.
She uses language that vividly describes an incident and creates a picture in your head. Kingston describes:
Adultery is extravagance. Could people who hatch their own chickens and eat the embryos and the heads for delicacies and boil the feet in vinegar for party food, leaving only the gravel, eating even the gizzard lining -- could such people engender a prodigal aunt? To be a woman , to have daughter in starvation time was a waste enough. My aunt could not have been the lone romantic to give up everything for sex. Women in old China did not choose.
In these few sentences she creates an image of people who are able to push their judgments upon someone else for doing something sick or wrong when they're no different. She is also able to give a brief but vivid idea of Chinese women's place in their traditional society.
In response to Mervin Deguzman I agree that it is tricky using it when you're writing and I also agree that Malcolm X utilized his skills to transition very well. It did it in a way where his audience would still be able to comprehend the subject or main point of what he was writing.
Alma Ramirez
Prof Sabir
English 1A 8-8:50 AM
They Say I Say Chapter 8 Exercise 2
The essay I chose from 50 Essays is “Just Walk on By: Black Men and Public Space” by Brent Staples. Brent Staples essay is about how hard it is for him, as well as many other young black men to walk in the street without having other people, especially women afraid of them. In his essay, Staples gives important key words throughout that help highlight his message. For example he uses the word “fear” and “darkness” in order to achieve the message that most people are afraid of him as he would walk at night. The author also gives examples of times that this occurred during his life, and right after the examples he reminds readers of how he people are just afraid of him because of his skin color. He uses transition words such as “and yet” or “however” in order to let readers know that his examples are part of this big issue that he is presenting.
In Response to Huy Vo on the essay of "Learning to Read and Write," I think Frederick Douglass does a very good job at connecting all his essay together. He does repeat very important key words in his essay that help the reader understand his point of view more, as well as give the essay more power. An example of a word that is repeated is "torment" since Douglass wanted the readers to understand that it was liberating to read, but it was also hard to know that freedom was there, and at the same time it wasn't.
Jacky Christie
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10-10:50
10/8/13
Chapter 9 Exercise 1
"Our civilization… is founded on coal, more completely than one realizes until one stops to think about it. The machines that keep us alive, and the machines that make the machines, are all directly or indirectly dependent upon coal. In the metabolism of the Western world the coal miner is second in importance only to the man who ploughs the soil. He is a sort of grimy caryatid upon whose shoulders nearly everything that is not grimy is supported. For this reason the actual process by which coal is extracted is well worth watching, if you get the chance and are willing to take the trouble."
…This was my annotation of the first paragraph of the Orwell segment. Throughout the rest of the section, Orwell continues to pointing words, such as "there" ("…down a coal mine…there is no fire down there…", and "this"(…shiny black wall three or four feet…This is the coal face." He also integrates transitional words and phrases like "because"("This is not easy, because when the mine is working visitors are a nuisance…";"You cannot see very far, because the fog of coal dust throws back the…"), as well as "On the one/other hand" ("On the one hand, writers certainly can run into trouble if they merely repeat themselves and nothing more. On the other hand, repetition is key to reacting continuity in writing."
Jacky Christie
Professor Sabir
English 1A 10-10:50
10/8/13
Chapter 8 Exercise 2
I read Richard Muller's Nuclear Waste (They Say I Say, pg.206-213) in which he writes to inform the public of the waste the of fossil fuel and radioactive debris that will stay in/on our planet for decades. The paper is basically persuasive- he is attempting to convince people that the threat of nuclear waste is just as- if not more- dangerous than any other current environmental hazard (ex:CO¬2). In response to looking the piece over, the first thing I notice (which may or not be relevant) is that- being a global and economic subject- Muller is not afraid to ask a lot of questions or of giving a lot of statistics/numbers. Sometimes it seems to cloud up the writing, sometimes all the questions make for good transitions. For example, he connects the sub-topic "Ten thousand years ago humans had just discovered agriculture. Writing wouldn't be invented for another 5000…" with his proposal (/thesis?) "We have no idea what the world will be like [in the future]" by using a transitional-phrase-question, "Can really plan…into the future?"
All hooked up together, the entire thought with the helpful transitional phrase, sounds like this:
"…Writing wouldn't be invented for another 5000 years. Can we really plan 10,000 years into the future? Of course we can't. We have no idea what the world will be like then. There is no way we can claim that we will be able to store nuclear waste for 10,000 years." (pg.5, par.1)
With a transition to link the two sub-points, the overall argument gets across a lot clearer.
Response to Alma Ramirez:
I also sense that, especially with Staples' topic, pointer words are very important to set a mood. Since his piece is more of a descriptive narration, his pointing words/ key terms can be more visual. He also does make a point of using follow-able transitions between points/subjects.
Response to Anita Madden:
When I first began reading/ imagine a book that describes a two-person relationship, I immediately imagine that transitional words and phrases are very important. Since much of the piece is probably revolving conversation a vital part of the author's language would have to be signaling where one persons thoughts/speech begins and the other's ends. I also agree that the transitional phrases were used successfully for notifying connection points between characters' thoughts/speech.
Quite a lively conversation here. Great feedback and great analysis of the texts.
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