Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Today in class students took Essay Exam 2: Possessives. Some students didn't finish and took the essay assignment home. This was a mistake. Students were not to take the essay assignment sheet home. Such students can complete the essay on Thursday, April 29, 2010.

Homework is to complete the Initial Planning Sheet for the Social Entrepreneur essay, as well as an outline (if possible). Students are to bring in 5 sources in MLA format, 1 3-part thesis and 4 thesis sentences using Topical Invention Strategies: analogy, consequence, testimony and definition. (This was a lecture and there were handouts.) If you missed the class we will review this April 29 as well.)

Let's see what else. Wednesday, April 28, students can stop by my office (L-236) and pick up their Half the Sky essays and book report essays. I will post a sample template here (re: Hootenanny Essay in SPHE). For each error develop a template and in an essay advise the student how to revise the paper. Some of the errors are grammatical, some involve logic. The essays are due next week Thursday, May 6).

The Social Entrepreneur Essay, final draft is due May 10, 2010. Presentations are May 11-12. We will begin working on our portfolios May 17. We will start the portfolio essays in class May 13. I will post the assignment again. Note the new due dates.

This class is a writing workshop, which means students are working on multiple projects simultaneously and everyone is not in the same place at the same time, because students come to the class from a variety of skill sets. This is the reason why study groups are encouraged and early in the semester through Spring Break Dominique hosted such. We are out of money now, so Dominique is no longer on the payroll, but this hasn't stopped certain students from getting together with classmates.

SPHE
We will write the last essay exam next week: May 3-6. Subject Verb Agreement is due May 13.

We will workshop the SPHE essays May 3-6 as well: Essay Exam 1, POV, Possessives and talk about Parallel Structure and Subject/Verb Agreement.

Revisions
In the past students included a narrative on their revisions. Now, students will write an essay, similar to the SPHE essays including templates for the errors which I have listed on the front page of the essay. Students mistakenly think a C- is a passing grade. It is not. If you are lost because you have missed lectures and/or class we need to talk. I am here for office hours on Thursday after 10 AM in A-232 for a couple of hours.

I am also available by phone. My SPHE Second Edition disappeared yesterday. My name is in it, if you see it floating around (smile).

The revision template:
Before you write your essay, you will compose a sheet containing the errors identified in your essay. I have named them and indicated where they are in your essay. If you can't find them, let me know.

You must type the list using the following format:
First, you must write out the complete sentence(s) containing the error as the sentence(s) appear in the graded essay.

Then, write out the sentence as it will appear in your essay. Include ellipsis marks and lowercase letters if you use them. The goal here is to remove any unnecessary text, but be careful not to remove too much text. With some errors, you may want to use the entire sentence. Lastly, write out the corrected sentence as it will appear in your essay with ellipsis marks and lowercase letters.

Review of the rules for omission of text from the beginning of a sentence:
If the first word of the quotation is capitalized, ellipsis marks are necessary.

Original: After class I want to go home.

Pidd writes, ". . . I want to go home."

If the first word of the quotation is not capitalized, you have two options.
Original: It's not a secret that the people in this town are weird.

1. No ellipsis marks and no caps.

Pidd writes, "the people in this town are weird."

2. No ellipsis marks, first word capitalized in brackets

Pidd says, "[T]thee people in this town are weird."

SAMPLE TEMPLATE for the list the errors

Error 1: Confused Word

Complete sentence
"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing error with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who chose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing correction with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who choose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Error 2: Redundancy, wrong word choice, verb tense

"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Corrected sentence:"Half the Sky shows many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who choose and have the opportunity to become educated" (1).

Error 3: Signal phrase and MLA for book title, unnecessary words, parallel structure

"In this book "Half the Sky," it has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as the empowerment of women" (1).

Corrected sentence:"This book, Half the Sky, by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicolas Kristof, has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as, to empowered women"(1).

Error 4: Comma splice, parenthetical citation, missing and/or misplaced punctuation

"Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic, he states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten. (Half the sky 159)"

Corrected sentence: "Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic. He states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten" (Kristof and
WuDunn 159).

And so on . . .

Write an introduction which can be a paraphrase of the skills and goals for the course (the State of CA requirements listed in the syllabus, teacher goals and objective and your own). The conclusion can be something appropriate, perhaps even witty.

There are templates models for CASE errors on 138; POSSESSIVES on 240; POV on 162; PRONOUN AGR on 94, PASSIVE VOICE on 9 and FRAGMENT on 38. Some of the errors do not have models. If you are stuck, ask for assistance.

This is your final Pidd essay.

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