Today in class we reviewed the Initial Planning Sheet, document search, developing thesis sentences and how to start your Social Entrepreneur essay. In the early class we used Mimi Silbert as a case study. I believe 3-4 students have chosen her as their subject. I saw several planning sheets completed but the specifics or details, especially with regards to the "question students wanted the essay to answer, was not strong enough." The planning is almost more important than the writing itself. A good plan almost always means the essay will be successful. A poor plan or no plan yeilds the same. I will show students a video on revision next week as well as one on argumentation in the next two weeks. Bring your Alehouse to class starting next week.

I did make copies of Lysistrata, I hope we have time to read it in class.

In the second class several students shared their planning and document searches and spoke a bit about their subject and where they were going with the research and profile. Many thanks to Jennie, Peter, Chelsea, and James.

Some students still hadn't decided on a SE. Suggestions were East Oakland Youth Development Center director, The Ella Baker Center (one of the programs with a woman director), the woman who works with Dr. Joe Marshall at Omega Boys and Girls Club, Adrianna Rodriguez, one of the founders of the East Side Arts Alliance. I also mentioned Youth Uprising, Fania Davis's RJOY (violence mediation and training for youth and those who work with youth), Lynette Lee at the East Bay Asian Local Development Corporation in Oakland. She was a KQED Local Hero.

Homework
Homework is to complete the Planning Sheet, the document search and start reading the material. After you become an expert, do the topical invention to develop 4 sentence, and the 3-part thesis. If you want to do mapping first and then the thesis sentences it's up to you. The outline follows this.

Then start writing the essay. Bring in an introduction on Monday, May 3, 2010. You will have a peer review on Thursday, May 6, 2010.

In SPHE we are on the Parallel Structure essay, Essay Exam 3. We will have the quiz next week. The essay is an in-class essay. We might write it on Wednesday. We can go over the errors on Monday-Tuesday. Keep going in the book. The last essay is Subject Verb Agreement. It is a take home essay.

Have a great weekend!

Students are encouraged to take Wednesday to work on revisions and the next essay, to catch up on posts such as the self-reflections on the book talks. Yes, I noticed who is not there.

I will take this time to catch up on correcting essays (smile). You can come by the class and use the technology if you like. I will be there.

Today in class students took Essay Exam 2: Possessives. Some students didn't finish and took the essay assignment home. This was a mistake. Students were not to take the essay assignment sheet home. Such students can complete the essay on Thursday, April 29, 2010.

Homework is to complete the Initial Planning Sheet for the Social Entrepreneur essay, as well as an outline (if possible). Students are to bring in 5 sources in MLA format, 1 3-part thesis and 4 thesis sentences using Topical Invention Strategies: analogy, consequence, testimony and definition. (This was a lecture and there were handouts.) If you missed the class we will review this April 29 as well.)

Let's see what else. Wednesday, April 28, students can stop by my office (L-236) and pick up their Half the Sky essays and book report essays. I will post a sample template here (re: Hootenanny Essay in SPHE). For each error develop a template and in an essay advise the student how to revise the paper. Some of the errors are grammatical, some involve logic. The essays are due next week Thursday, May 6).

The Social Entrepreneur Essay, final draft is due May 10, 2010. Presentations are May 11-12. We will begin working on our portfolios May 17. We will start the portfolio essays in class May 13. I will post the assignment again. Note the new due dates.

This class is a writing workshop, which means students are working on multiple projects simultaneously and everyone is not in the same place at the same time, because students come to the class from a variety of skill sets. This is the reason why study groups are encouraged and early in the semester through Spring Break Dominique hosted such. We are out of money now, so Dominique is no longer on the payroll, but this hasn't stopped certain students from getting together with classmates.

SPHE
We will write the last essay exam next week: May 3-6. Subject Verb Agreement is due May 13.

We will workshop the SPHE essays May 3-6 as well: Essay Exam 1, POV, Possessives and talk about Parallel Structure and Subject/Verb Agreement.

Revisions
In the past students included a narrative on their revisions. Now, students will write an essay, similar to the SPHE essays including templates for the errors which I have listed on the front page of the essay. Students mistakenly think a C- is a passing grade. It is not. If you are lost because you have missed lectures and/or class we need to talk. I am here for office hours on Thursday after 10 AM in A-232 for a couple of hours.

I am also available by phone. My SPHE Second Edition disappeared yesterday. My name is in it, if you see it floating around (smile).

The revision template:
Before you write your essay, you will compose a sheet containing the errors identified in your essay. I have named them and indicated where they are in your essay. If you can't find them, let me know.

You must type the list using the following format:
First, you must write out the complete sentence(s) containing the error as the sentence(s) appear in the graded essay.

Then, write out the sentence as it will appear in your essay. Include ellipsis marks and lowercase letters if you use them. The goal here is to remove any unnecessary text, but be careful not to remove too much text. With some errors, you may want to use the entire sentence. Lastly, write out the corrected sentence as it will appear in your essay with ellipsis marks and lowercase letters.

Review of the rules for omission of text from the beginning of a sentence:
If the first word of the quotation is capitalized, ellipsis marks are necessary.

Original: After class I want to go home.

Pidd writes, ". . . I want to go home."

If the first word of the quotation is not capitalized, you have two options.
Original: It's not a secret that the people in this town are weird.

1. No ellipsis marks and no caps.

Pidd writes, "the people in this town are weird."

2. No ellipsis marks, first word capitalized in brackets

Pidd says, "[T]thee people in this town are weird."

SAMPLE TEMPLATE for the list the errors

Error 1: Confused Word

Complete sentence
"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing error with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who chose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing correction with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who choose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Error 2: Redundancy, wrong word choice, verb tense

"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Corrected sentence:"Half the Sky shows many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who choose and have the opportunity to become educated" (1).

Error 3: Signal phrase and MLA for book title, unnecessary words, parallel structure

"In this book "Half the Sky," it has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as the empowerment of women" (1).

Corrected sentence:"This book, Half the Sky, by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicolas Kristof, has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as, to empowered women"(1).

Error 4: Comma splice, parenthetical citation, missing and/or misplaced punctuation

"Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic, he states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten. (Half the sky 159)"

Corrected sentence: "Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic. He states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten" (Kristof and
WuDunn 159).

And so on . . .

Write an introduction which can be a paraphrase of the skills and goals for the course (the State of CA requirements listed in the syllabus, teacher goals and objective and your own). The conclusion can be something appropriate, perhaps even witty.

There are templates models for CASE errors on 138; POSSESSIVES on 240; POV on 162; PRONOUN AGR on 94, PASSIVE VOICE on 9 and FRAGMENT on 38. Some of the errors do not have models. If you are stuck, ask for assistance.

This is your final Pidd essay.

Today's book talks were really wonderful! Overall student presentations revealed a passion for the topics/writers and conveyed this in presentation after presentation, whether that was Jon Howell on Maya Angelou in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Josh Duong on Carolyn Jessup's Escape, Victor Guerro's Danielle Steel novel, The Wedding, or Phil Redd and Emmily's Tender Murders.

I really appreciated Josh's reason for choosing his author, Carolyn Jessup. He said he was looking for a book that continued the themes of Half the Sky. it's too bad his author is not from the San Francisco Bay Area.

Victor's interest in Danielle Steel was also intriguing. I hadn't know of the best selling romance novels traumatic personal history regarding love and life. Again, too bad she is not a California writer (smile). What should the penalty be for students who chose authors who do not live here. If Josh would have consulted with me, I certainly think his reason is compelling. Hum, Victor (smile).

Edith's invitation to Julian to join her in their extemporaneous presentation was awesome. Really dynamic! Then Adrianna's closing the book talk session with a selection from Cupcake Brown's book, A Piece of Cake, was just perfect. I have to give them an A, for the total packaging.

Afterwards I found out that Julian has a personal connection to Cucake Brown, one removed. His mother met the author while out one day and said: "Are you...?" To which Ms. Brown answered, "Yes." I think there should be a film about her life like the one about the homeless man now rich stockbroker's story told in Will Smith's Pursuit of Happyness.

Ahu's love of Diane D' Prima's work, Recollections of My Life as a Women, certainly came across in her presentation. It sounded as if the student has met a kindred spirit.

Chris Kerr and Chelsea Eomuriam's authors/subjects: Joilene Godfrey and Alice Waters, showed us how their subjects/authors will work for the second essay on the social entrepreneur. I thought it funny when Chris said Godfrey's book wasn't that great, but the author's work in saving women from poverty in their retirement years and preparing girls to take care of their economic needs to prevent poverty, certainly noteworthy, an honest assessment.

Veronica Flores excitement over her book, Lopsided by Meredith Norton, infectious as well and a book I am certainly planning to read this summer along with many other titles students shared this morning.

Abtisam and Sabah both continued the collection by Terri McMillan, which seems to be an author many students have enjoyed reading about this semester. Their books A Day Late and A Dollar Short and How Stella Got Her Groove Back, different from the books shared yesterday, Disappearing Acts and Waiting to Exhale (?)yesterday.

Peter's presentation on Maya Angelou was the best I have seen so far this semester. He really knows his subject and her work and his notes were extensive and handy when asked questions.

Leonardo's presentation on Maxine Kingston's The Woman Warrior: Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts, was great. One of his comments, There are no stories about men" so hilarious.

I hope I didn't leave anyone out. Please post your reflections at the assignment posted yesterday. Don't forget your self-reflections. You have one more presentation for the semester: the social entrepreneur essay. Each presentation should show a level of improvement, and students should certainly note the more polished presenters and analyze what goes into their work that makes it stand out. You can even ask such students what their secrets are, take them to lunch and ask for their help.

For students who haven't learned to project, make certain you practice for the final presentation--speak to the back of the room, or bring in a microphone (seriously). We cannot hear you. I can because I sit at the front of the classroom. I will be videotaping the final presentations.

Homework is to complete at least two Frontline World episodes and respond. Bring in headphones for Monday-Wednesday to complete the final or third one. Monday we will write Essay Exam 2, Possessives. Bring in the templates typed.

Earth Day
Don'f forget to remember Mother Earth today. Her birthday has been celebrated for the past 40 years, but of course, she is a lot older. If anyone does something literary for Earth Day (smile) or turns the experience into a reflective essay, you can have extra credit.

I shared two books by San Francisco authors: Black Nature: Four Centuries of African American Nature Poetry, edited by Camile T. Dungy, and Dying for a Change by Sean Reynolds.

Make up presentations
You can make up your book talks at the end of the semester, when we do the social entrepreneur essays. Remind me.

Today we started our book talks. Please respond to Crystal Cortez, Juan Li, Sumeera and Andrew, and Cristian and Sunjung.

In the second class presenters are: James Barker, "Disappearing Act," by Terri McMillan; David A., "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," also by Terri McMillan; Jennie, "The Promise: Oral Lee Brown" with Caille Millner; Kimthuy & Lisa Huey, "The Joy Luck Club," by Amy Tan


Presenters: Talk about your experience. Please mention your book and why your choose it.

Frontline World Cyber-Assignment Post(s)
http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/stories/socialentrepreneurs.html

Respond to 3 stories by 4/27 (start 4/22)Bring in headphones for the computer Monday, April 26. We will complete the final one in class, unless something else comes up, like an in-class essay or a quiz (smile).

Post all your Frontline World Responses (3) here.

Answer the following questions in your response to the program.

Outline:

1.Who is the social entrepreneur profiled?
2.What problem did the person profiled identify?
3.What is the name of the organization they started?
4.Describe their relationship to the community that they serve?

• Why they decided to address this issue?

5.What is the local component?
6.How does the community own the process?

SPHE Essays
If students have a particular concern about SPHE essay grades, visit me at my office hour which is today. I will be around until about 1 PM in A-232, and we can review the essay(s) together. I am not worried about the SPHE essays. I am interested more in the application of lessons to student writing.

Book Reports
Tomorrow we will start our book talks. Please rehearse the talk. Keep it to 5 minutes max and bring the book. In your talk briefly tell the audience what the book is about, themes, the author's background, why the author wrote the book. If this is not a first book, where this book fits into the author's body of work and if it is an new genre for the writer. Reflect on what the author does well: the style of writing, what you most enjoyed about the book. Why you chose to read it, and what you gained both personally and aesthetically.

You can also comment on the audience and who you wold recommend it to. If you'd like to bring in a video or other multimedia, please feel free to do so.

The Lottery Cyber Assignment
I gave students a copy of a story called: The Lottery. This story was accompanied by exercises. Respond to the exercises here. Use the two examples of student papers on literature to reflect on your own essays if/when you get them back. You can post the response here. Did you write an essay or a plot summary?


Here is a link to the story: http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/lotry.html

How do you plan to revise it? Again, you cannot answer this question until you get the paper back. Students have until Monday, April 26, to get revisions to me. Don't forget the narratives and the planning sheets.

SPHE Possessives
We will write this essay in class, hopefully Thursday, if not Thursday, then Monday, April 26.

Look here for cyber assignments for the Social Entrepreneur Essay. You will need to complete three Frontline World episodes by next Wednesday.

I also gave students a research guide for the SE essay. You have the assignment. For some of you, the author or subject of your book report would also work as a social entrepreneur profile.

Students shared their essays. Comment on the writer's strengths. Illustrate your comments with an example. Thanks to Jennie, James, Sideeq, and Kimthuy for sharing.

Monday we will write the Book Report essay. Bring in your thesis sentences, outlines, initial planning sheet, book of course, and if you like a rough draft of the essay, to revise in class. We will spend the entire class time writing the essay. Beware of plot summary. Also, make sure you devote a part of the introduction or conclusion to information about the author and their reason for writing the book. You can also use scholarly commentary on the author and the book. (I gave students a handout from the library which looks at COA resources on authors and books like Literary Criticism and Master Plots. These books are also in some public libraries and might be on-line at COA Library link. You can certainly ask the librarian for a copy).

Homework
Students will write a 2-3 page essay on their book. Presentations will begin on Wednesday. Tuesday we will talk about the Social Entrepreneur essays and for a free write look at a Frontline World Episode. I will also give students materials to find a Social Entrepreneur if students are still not sure who they want to profile.

Today in class I gave students a lot of handouts: graffic organizers, two handouts on developing thesis sentences: Topical Invention and 3-part thesis, a discourse on Introdcutions and Conclusions. In the second class we practiced developing thesis sentences using "Spare the Air Day" as a topic.

If you have not gotten Half the Sky to me, please email me this weekend a draft, so I can try to get back to you. Technically, we are finished with this essay.

Overall, the Half the Sky essays were good. Most students were able to revise their essays and bring up the grade in one revision, some two. I hope the next essay, Monday's will have a passing grade the first draft, since hopefully you like the book and its topic, since it was your choice.

The final essay should also be similar, that is, easier to write because the topic is your choice.

Today class was a workshop session where students worked in groups on various essays: Half the Sky revisions. Don't let the Half the Sky essays sit around and collect dust, revise them in class and get them back to me ASAP, like by Thursday, April 15. Bring your essays to class each day this week. We will share essays perhaps tomorrow so students can hear essays that worked well on the page: As, Bs, Cs.

Bring drafts of your book report essay to class for Monday, April 19, 2010. Final drafts will be due Wednesday (maybe) we'll see how the writing is going.

In SPHE we are finished with POV and are on Be-Verbs (Essay 4). I have a handout for you for the introductory paragraph. Make sure you get a copy.

What else?

Students also worked on their book report outlines and initial planning sheets (same questions, type them up).

I think this is it. We will work on these essays all week.